Life Begins When Worry No Longer Impacts Your Journey

In such a climate of fear that we have seemed to allow ourselves to arrive within in this Present Moment of living, one must wonder how it is that we have come to such a place. How is it that souls of love that we are all truly destined to become, allow this fear of living, fear of life to pervade our very existence.

The common thread, it is my belief, is worry.

Let me come at it in a different way than most would. Worry is that common emotion of the soul that has no place, ever, within us, yet we seem to excuse it in ourselves and find it repugnant in everyone else.
My, oh my, the ego is a powerful little beast, is it not?

How often do we tell someone else not to worry, when that is our inclination. It is almost as if we are expected to worry about life in so many ways and if we don’t we, of course, are “flighty” or “cold-hearted” or we are irresponsible in some way. Imagine that, the very act of NOT worrying and staying true to who you are makes you irresponsible.

Can you imagine if you decided to travel the world and, because you set out on a journey of self discovery, you are labeled as irresponsible. Isn’t that the height of responsibility; being labeled as such when truth is what you desire? Isn’t the very act of discovering yourself indicates that you are in search of becoming a better person of love to enrich the human condition?

If you find yourself living is such fear as to not make that journey, then merely look at the program, The Amazing Race, where teams travel around the world in a short amount of time. What most take from the race who participate is the journey within that transforms them and their relationships with not only one another, but with humanity.

By seeing other cultures and participating in tasks that many times test their assumptions about themselves, the individuals find that their fear of truly living was baseless. That their worry about life, in general, was nothing more than the ego’s attempt to “protect” them.
Protect them from what? Not sure, but the ego tells you countless things to worry about in life.

Really, however, the journey is from the allowing of love to enter them. Love of themselves, love of humanity, love of life and love of the journey within that makes the journey without all worthwhile.

Worry is so baseless that it cripples us from truly living life. The sad fact is that society breeds that fear from childhood on. Oh, I'm not saying that we aren’t aware of our surroundings but we don’t live in a constant state of “what if” this or that happens that we have to do this or that to cover the "what if" to begin with.

As i said in the last post, the ego can play out a scenario to its end based on a “what if” so compelling that you actually believe it to be. Sometimes even so much as to manifest the very worry the ego has so cleverly ‘what if’ed” so the ego can say to you, “See, i told you so.” Then once the ego has you there, you actually feel guilt about not worrying.

Do you see the insidiousness of worry?

There is another component of worry that really is at the core. The ego masks it as “making sure you are good with yourself.” It is the “What others think of me and my decisions” thought pattern as a guide for living truth in your life that is your journey alone. Yes, we impact others with our lives, that is the very nature of living. However, if you come from a place of truth, from a place of love, then you will not be a concerned how you impact others. There will be no worry about your actions or the actions of others.

The very thought that your belief that others thoughts the ones that you assign to them, about you, are somehow a determinant for living your life is bizarre.

However, It happens all the time.

Someone gives you a look and you assign that look a series of thoughts, usually based on experiences from the past of a similar look. So then you get angry, do something completely different or think a new series of thoughts all based on a look. The ego goes into full-protection mode to align you to the world as it sees it, which is not reality at all.

In the next post, we will delve into the very nature of the living in such a Now Moment state of love that there is nothing any one can say to take you away from your journey. It is a conscious decision, but a freeing one.

By the way, the thought you must take from the whole “What others think of me” situation is this:

It is none of your business what others think of you!

Just be true to yourself and come from a place of love in all you do and say.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Appreciation for the Mission in The Present Moment

Appreciation is the core value that manifest a Mission that truly reflects the very nature of the love of life. Appreciation is that beautiful nature that can’t be faked or manufactured, such as you see when Hollywood does with some Thanksgiving feast when a troubled family seemingly comes together and gives feigned appreciation.

For as far as i can remember, i was troubled at something at the way appreciation was portrayed along with the following season. Don’t get me wrong, it is grand to see people become Scrooges for if even for a brief season; the part where Scrooge is transformed, that is.

But only when i took my journey that has set me on my Mission to give people back themselves, did i really understand the depth of appreciation and what it actually does to the soul. It is my belief that at the heart of the very spiritual concept of faith is appreciation. It is appreciation that provides the prism for all of life. It is appreciation for life that we begin to see beyond ourselves.

It goes beyond the concepts of forced “thank yous” we all had to give when our aunt gave us the scarf we didn’t really like, or some other manifested reason appeared that we should be thankful for.

It is in the well-meaning actions of those who loved us that we were given such a skewed look at the very meaning of appreciation in our lives. So many times it comes off as a forced look at a guilt reaction of what someone has done for us. So the appreciation then becomes a bitter pill you swallow that has no meaning outside of the words you utter. Guilt becomes appreciation to the ego and resentment often nest deep within it.

I see it often times with the very act of gift giving where someone gives a gift, expects appreciation, which you have been taught to do, and then proceeds to tell you at some future time, that because they gave you a gift, that a certain action should now be manifest, be it love or some supposed show of love. The ego then drills down to the act of the forced appreciation that you did and begins to feed on the very act of appreciation as a ploy or ruse and bitterness begins to accumulate. Love and appreciation are often time so linked that one would believe that they must coexist together.

Yes and No. For you see, if you come from a place of love, appreciation is at the heart of everything you do, but appreciation must never demand love. Make sense?

This is one of the hardest values to really uncover, for most will tell you that appreciate this and that in their lives, but you can see that appreciation is not their core. To breech this with clients, i often get to the very act of gift giving and have found that most have had (or do) the “weapons of gifts”, as i like to call them, inflicted on them.

What i must first get most over is that a gift, defined in the dictionary as, “A thing given willingly to someone without payment.” is just that.

In the spiritual realm it is often why so many have a hard time with a gift of salvation, in that our ego knows that there are always strings attached, so there is nothing “freely given.” So getting people past that attitude and the very act of doing that to others as well, is the first hurdle. When you can get ego to release the assumptions of gifts, of giving and of the very nature of appreciation, then we can begin to give you back your life starting from that point.

Appreciation is the core value of the Mission for your life and for living from a place of love. Here is where we begin to master looking beyond yourself and seeing that life is indeed a Mission that you are involved in.
Let’s look at three ways to begin the process of Appreciation, but know that we have only touched the surface of having a true Attitude of Gratitude.

In my morning journal practice, i begin with “thank you thank you thank you” and i truly mean it. This is the act of preparation to receive from an attitude of being thankful for all within your life.

First, then, would be to prepare yourself by being thankful form the outset for EVERYTHING. Nothing must exist within your realm that is not appreciated.
In the movie, “A Wonderful Life”, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, has just discovered that he is back from being “non-existent” and is running down his little street of Bedford Falls. As he is doing so, appreciation for every aspect of his little town spews from his mouth. All of those places he took for granted, now had a new meaning and he appreciated everything for what it was to him. He now lived in an attitude of gratitude and in that light he saw his Mission for living and that he had been on a Mission without really understanding it.

Next, after you have truly given yourself over to appreciation of everything, there is an aspect of release that you must do. Forgiveness must now be your nature. First yourself, and, then, all other people, places and things that the ego has told you have wronged you in any way. This is a process, but one that must take place to move forward. Living free from here means you can now move beyond yourself to a Mission mindset.

Finally, in our simple three step appreciation appreciation manifestation, is to release worry, which is a task in and of itself that affects your Mission, the going beyond yourself to impact humanity.

In the next post we shall proceed form that point and deal with worry as it is a challenge that must have its own discussion.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

It's Not the Resolutions But the Questions We Ask to Become Better

 What is it About New Beginnings That the New Year Brings?

As a Now Moment Coach, I am often amazed at the hoopla given to a calendar date as is New Years Day. At the core of it all, I understand the significance of the celebration, but it is all fairly predictable, is it not?

Let me give you the cycle of discussion, such as it is, that we are exposed to during this time and the various stories that are written about that are inspired to feed your egoic nature..

The various "Best" and "Worse" lists in whatever you are interested in. (Either you are cool by being connected with the “Best” or you are made to feel better about yourself because something is worse that you in some way.)

Resolutions - the making and then, breaking, of them. (Again, we are losers for wanting to do something because we are lacking in some way to make them to begin with and then again for failing at our lack mentality when we break the resolutions.)

Weight loss/Health - We are evidently "guilty" of eating too much over the holiday period and are all a bunch of fatties and now we must "get in shape" or, at least, be shamed to think as much. (Here is simply a lack mentality of how you see yourself. Do you need to shape up? Maybe, but on your own terms, not someones dictates on how you should feel about yourself.)

Damn Ego needing to be fed!

But, I make no judgements. As a coach, it is my mission to bridge the gap between the feelings of anxiousness that does indeed accompany this time of the year according to the calendar and the truth of Now Moments that we all must exist in.

First, let me say that there are some things that I do appreciate about this time of the calendar year.

For one, people, by and large, are in better spirits, or, if nothing else, at least open to renewal. Also, great questions are asked to help you focus. It’s just too bad that we don’t engage this way at all times. Well, I mean to change that for you.

What do I mean?

  Well, people get reflective and tend to dwell on successes and failures of the year past (Usually, more on the failures as that is the proclivity of the human experience) and will ask thought-provoking and reflective questions that tend to refocus their efforts into the New Year.

This is good at its core, as it is great to be always evolving into a better you, but the drawbacks are that the thinking is most always future-based on an experience that is based firmly in the past, completely negating the present Now Moment, which is exactly what the ego desires. Keeping you tied up in the past (failures) and hopeful of a better future, keeps joy from being completely present in this Now Moment.

Yes, we are to learn from past experiences, but not to the point that they glorify some future that doesn't exist as of yet. This the very nature of Now Moments. The past is simply a guide and the future is but an experience of Now Moment Actions. So this is the Moment that matters. Your past does not dictate your future. You dictate your future right NOW.

To Direct Your Own Life means you ask the right questions in each Now Moment. This is the important part of the questioning process; It is not someone else who may have a desire for the path you think you must take, for the goal will always be moving and the future will never be anything more than murky. It must be your journey alone that incorporates those around you. Therein lies the happiness factor; the individual journey taken with joy that lifts those around them in that same wake of joy. It is a universal law.

  Remember, again, it is not so much the state we are in, but the questions we must ask to free us so as to move forward, and, yes, some of that may mean we have to ask tough questions about the reason we are here in this present Now Moment state not to dwell in the past but to see the framework of this moment and adapt and change as needed.

By looking at the process as if you were in a theatrical production, it is essentially the rehearsal process here. We have rehearsed certain scenes to this point and we understand that we are now ready to rehearse another part of the play. We look back at the last scene to understand the context for this next stage of rehearsal. The past, the last scene, was merely a set up for the current piece we are rehearsing. It has no baring to the future but to set it up and work together to make the play all make sense at the end.

That is the framework of the questioning process; to set up the framework for the next scene of your life. Just allow it to flow and appreciate the journey to this point and allow the questions to guide you into the next Now Moment.

In the end, it is a matter of perspective and allowing yourself to flow in that place of peace that you must find to allow yourself the freedom to move forward.

For some reason, beer commercials always seem to have great slogans, but it is not the drinking that propelled me to like this, but the message of finding yourself in that happy place where you are free to create.

The slogan is "Find Your Beach" and it is great for the disgrace that are resolutions in general as well is the comparing of the past "failures" to some future happiness.

Indeed, if you do find your beach and allow an organic way of living to become your new reality, you will have no choice but to embrace this Now Moment alone.

This will be your guiding emotion for the Now Moments that make up your future.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Guilt: The Other White Meat - Part 2

 What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Dennis Miller

Oh, great! Now I have guilt!

T. Rex, from Toy Story

What is it about humanity that we have decided that guilt is the way we relate on such interpersonal levels to one another knowing that it is based in fear, as discussed in the previous post (part I)?

What is it about the ego within us all that we have decided that to keep our little superiority acts in check, we have to be the ones to guilt others into complying with our wishes? Are we so non-trusting within ourselves that we feel that we have to control others, not to mention ourselves, with guilt?

Ego and Guilt Work Hand-in-Hand

In living in Now Moments, guilt can really have no hold on us as it only seeks to keep the past ever present and living and the future looming within us, usually as nothing more than some type of dishonor of our past. The Now Moment is then completely obliterated as non-important, which is exactly as the ego has decided needs to happen.

By the way, the ego completely hates Now Moments.

You see, Now Moments are designed for us to have clarity in this moment so we can plant seeds of greatness in the next Now Moments to come. Guilt robs us of that clarity and keeps our disgusting past that guilt tends to persuade us exists, forever present so that the beauty of this Now Moment is completely abandoned. The ego desires you not to have peace in each and every Now Moment as then what would be the reason for ego to exist in the first place?

Trust me, I have heard more than my share of why “healthy guilt” is a good thing speech, so no need bother. Is the very term not an oxymoron to begin with, and, quite frankly, when people use it they usually have to justify the existence of the term at the very outset.

Guilt is associated with fear and there is no justification for giving fear to another person or living in fear as the spirit of fear is a debilitating spirit that robs you of all joy.

3 Step Process To Plow Through Guilt

Let me give you a quick three-step process that will help you with guilt.

1. Release. This is the first step of taking back your Now Moments. Release yourself, first and foremost. If you want to say it another way, forgive yourself. The past is the past and whatever is done is done. Keeping some past mistake alive forever in the throws of guilt does nothing for your ability to make this Now Moment precious. So you must first release yourself.

2. Let Go. This may seem to be like release but it is all together different in that you must truly let go of guilt by putting space between you and it. Release is the willingness to do so, Letting go is the action.

3. Flow. This is now the most important aspect of the process as it is based in peace. The peace of this Now Moment is a simple allowing of life to unfold all around you so you can become that ever-moving force of strength to yourself and to others around you. In peace there is tranquility within and that always presents itself as a quiet strength without.

Guilt is not healthy, EVER.

Release, Let go and Flow into each and every Now Moment for there the seeds of greatness live.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Guilt: The Other White Meat - Part 1

Several years ago, the pork industry came up with “pork, the other white meat” to get people to eat more pork. The little slogan was quickly identifiable and indeed increased the pork industries efforts to get the folks to eat more pork.

I our discussion of Now Moments and how fear from and of the past can hold you back from progressing into brilliant Now Moments, I really look at guilt the true other white meat to fear, as they often go hand-in-hand. And unlike pork, it is the other side of the fear coin that can bring a grown man to his knees. I am not a huge fan of guilt, as you can tell.

Suffice it to say, we could not even begin to scratch the surface on guilt and how it hampers your development but we will begin to speak of the harmful effects it does have on you and how you can take steps to rid this arch-nemesis from your very midst.

First, lets look at guilt from a perspective of control, from both your own being and from others who use it to control you. There is no easy way to say it except that guilt is that soul-sucking essence that keeps people from developing personally, achieving in life, and from developing healthy relationships that are free from drama and, most importantly, love.

Guilt is not something you desire in any way, and if you use it to control others in your sphere, shame on you. It is done in business, in relationships and all realms of group interactions. The real essence of the spirit of guilt is that is so opposite from joy in that where there is guilt, you usually find joy lacking in abundance. That is the shame of guilt, it robs you of joy.

Look back in your own life; every time someone “guilted” you into doing something you were not prone to do, or would joyfully do on your own, did you notice joy within? I can safely say, no you did not. You see, guilt is that tool that people use that the ego rails against and why it is time to start the process of ridding yourself of that as well. But another discussion for another time.

You can even look to our political systems. When some well meaning congressperson or senator desires to push some usually bloated piece of legislation through the congress, they often encase it in the “hot” buttons of the day, whatever the other representatives would feel guilt not supporting; children, seniors, helping this group or that one. As soon as someone is confronted with the fact that they might not support a certain bill or whatever, they are guilted into support because who wants to be again some deserving group of whatever, whether the legislation makes sense or not.

It all comes down to joy and a sense of self that is devoid of ego.

Find your center, your joy and begin to ask yourself a simple question when confronted with guilt; Am what I am being asked to think about or do bring me joy if i do it for ME. Again, the very nature of that question elicits a guilt response from many because we are told by parents and authority figures “not to be selfish,” are we not? So we don’t ask that question because of guilt to begin with?

Stop it right now and begin to be a better you and decide here and now that guilt will no longer be part of your existence in this Now Moment. It is all you have. Seek joy and find truth.

In the next post we will look at ways to do this effectively, but start now as it is the only Now Moment you have in which to do so.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com