It's Not the Resolutions But the Questions We Ask to Become Better

 What is it About New Beginnings That the New Year Brings?

As a Now Moment Coach, I am often amazed at the hoopla given to a calendar date as is New Years Day. At the core of it all, I understand the significance of the celebration, but it is all fairly predictable, is it not?

Let me give you the cycle of discussion, such as it is, that we are exposed to during this time and the various stories that are written about that are inspired to feed your egoic nature..

The various "Best" and "Worse" lists in whatever you are interested in. (Either you are cool by being connected with the “Best” or you are made to feel better about yourself because something is worse that you in some way.)

Resolutions - the making and then, breaking, of them. (Again, we are losers for wanting to do something because we are lacking in some way to make them to begin with and then again for failing at our lack mentality when we break the resolutions.)

Weight loss/Health - We are evidently "guilty" of eating too much over the holiday period and are all a bunch of fatties and now we must "get in shape" or, at least, be shamed to think as much. (Here is simply a lack mentality of how you see yourself. Do you need to shape up? Maybe, but on your own terms, not someones dictates on how you should feel about yourself.)

Damn Ego needing to be fed!

But, I make no judgements. As a coach, it is my mission to bridge the gap between the feelings of anxiousness that does indeed accompany this time of the year according to the calendar and the truth of Now Moments that we all must exist in.

First, let me say that there are some things that I do appreciate about this time of the calendar year.

For one, people, by and large, are in better spirits, or, if nothing else, at least open to renewal. Also, great questions are asked to help you focus. It’s just too bad that we don’t engage this way at all times. Well, I mean to change that for you.

What do I mean?

  Well, people get reflective and tend to dwell on successes and failures of the year past (Usually, more on the failures as that is the proclivity of the human experience) and will ask thought-provoking and reflective questions that tend to refocus their efforts into the New Year.

This is good at its core, as it is great to be always evolving into a better you, but the drawbacks are that the thinking is most always future-based on an experience that is based firmly in the past, completely negating the present Now Moment, which is exactly what the ego desires. Keeping you tied up in the past (failures) and hopeful of a better future, keeps joy from being completely present in this Now Moment.

Yes, we are to learn from past experiences, but not to the point that they glorify some future that doesn't exist as of yet. This the very nature of Now Moments. The past is simply a guide and the future is but an experience of Now Moment Actions. So this is the Moment that matters. Your past does not dictate your future. You dictate your future right NOW.

To Direct Your Own Life means you ask the right questions in each Now Moment. This is the important part of the questioning process; It is not someone else who may have a desire for the path you think you must take, for the goal will always be moving and the future will never be anything more than murky. It must be your journey alone that incorporates those around you. Therein lies the happiness factor; the individual journey taken with joy that lifts those around them in that same wake of joy. It is a universal law.

  Remember, again, it is not so much the state we are in, but the questions we must ask to free us so as to move forward, and, yes, some of that may mean we have to ask tough questions about the reason we are here in this present Now Moment state not to dwell in the past but to see the framework of this moment and adapt and change as needed.

By looking at the process as if you were in a theatrical production, it is essentially the rehearsal process here. We have rehearsed certain scenes to this point and we understand that we are now ready to rehearse another part of the play. We look back at the last scene to understand the context for this next stage of rehearsal. The past, the last scene, was merely a set up for the current piece we are rehearsing. It has no baring to the future but to set it up and work together to make the play all make sense at the end.

That is the framework of the questioning process; to set up the framework for the next scene of your life. Just allow it to flow and appreciate the journey to this point and allow the questions to guide you into the next Now Moment.

In the end, it is a matter of perspective and allowing yourself to flow in that place of peace that you must find to allow yourself the freedom to move forward.

For some reason, beer commercials always seem to have great slogans, but it is not the drinking that propelled me to like this, but the message of finding yourself in that happy place where you are free to create.

The slogan is "Find Your Beach" and it is great for the disgrace that are resolutions in general as well is the comparing of the past "failures" to some future happiness.

Indeed, if you do find your beach and allow an organic way of living to become your new reality, you will have no choice but to embrace this Now Moment alone.

This will be your guiding emotion for the Now Moments that make up your future.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Worthy, Do you Feel Your Now Moments Are Filled With Worth?

Worth.
Being Worthy.
Worthiness.

Strange concepts that many fashion in the face of any challenging situation, are they not? Yet, we have all faced these exact emotions of the soul in living our lives; being worthy of anything, deserving anything.

 

To Be Worthy

Where have we come as a species if we question the ability to function on any level as a person who is supposed to exist? What has happened to us that, for some reason, we have decided that we are not worthy of some thing, some person in our life or some form of abundance?

I am questioned constantly about the very nature of being worthy and really it goes back to a previous post written about the past and fear. For some reason circumstances in the past have deemed you unfit for this Now Moment, as you see it, or, in reality, someone else has seen it as a rule of life for you.

 

Feeling Inferior

When I hear someone talk this way, it always draws me back to one of my favorite quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In this quote, you find the seeds of riding yourself of the past that seeks to bind you and fill you with self-doubt and unworthiness. Essentially, your ego, which is the bane of all existence as you will come to learn from me, is trying to hold you back from living truly in this Now Moment by making you think you are not truly deserving of it.

Face it, if you are still breathing, you are worthy as deemed by the creator of the universe. Now if that doesn’t make you feel a bit worthy, I am not sure exactly what will.

 

The Ego Is In Charge Way Too Much

Now with that being said, shame and guilt also play into a feeling of worthiness as well. There will be much discussion on each topics, but suffice it to say this is the Now Moment you have to live and being worthy is always...ALWAYS...an attitude of the heart and soul. You use the past as but the place that holds experience that gives you input into this Now Moment but never shall it be anything more than a guide. Do not allow it to give you any sort of worthiness issues as you are here for a reason.

Remember, the universe makes no mistakes, everything is perfect in its own time and place. No matter what you have done up to this Now Moment that you have deemed (or someone else has deemed) “unworthy” is not a reflection of what you will plant as seeds for the next Now Moments you exist.

 

Attitude of Gratitude

You are to give this Now Moment its dynamic place in your life as the one that is the place of change, hope and love that you seek to be within. Living in a state of gratitude in this Now Moment will give you a sense of worth to carry you into the next Now Moment and by simply releasing yourself to gratitude, you will find the gift of who you are and who you are to be.

It is your Now Moment to affect change for yourself and to see the positive aspect of living Now, so give this Now Moment its place as the one that matters most, because it does.

******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Past is Past: Live Free Without Baggage

Now Moments are but a culmination of the past. But here is a concept, the past is past, so why let it allow itself to influence future Now Moments, which don’t exist yet, and, certainly, should not affect this Now Moment unless it is something that must be dealt with now.

First a discussion about the baggage we carry around with us that is our past.

It is my assertion that whether the baggage is “good” or “bad” and that, my friend, is always subjective, that baggage serves you as you carry it around for whatever reason. I know you are saying “I don’t desire this pain or this burden” but still you have decided to carry it with you and allow it to affect you in this Now Moment in some way, even to the extent that you make decisions that are not ideally logical or sensible based on the fear of the past.

For Fear That

Yes, that is what the past intrinsically is based in most of the time, fear. The fear of not repeating the same mistakes. The fear of being labeled this or that. The fear of ultimately being judged and is that not the ultimate fear? Isn’t that what most peer pressure is based on? The judgment of peers or not being part of the group.

So, I guess you could say, fear and acceptance go hand-in-hand, right? Because we all want to be accepted at some level into a group, maybe we should take a note from the great comedian from the past, Groucho Marx, who said when talking about joining a club, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. “ In that quote we find the ultimate attitude of not allowing others to dictate your actions.

 

The Past is The Past

Fear is that constant of the past that cripples us in these Now Moments. Rid yourself of fear and many items of the past would come crumbling down. As I often tell those I coach that the thing about any suitcase, what we would think of baggage, is that they are always equipped with latches or zippers in which you are free to open them and empty the contents AT ANY TIME.  The challenge is that, for some reason, many believe that once they are latched or zipped, that it appears that some type of super-secret code or key is needed to undo it.

In reality, the super-secret code or key is your own mind and your decision to release it. The real secret is to determine how the baggage is serving you, I mean, getting to the core emotion as to why it benefits you to carry it with you. When you get to that point, you will find that the suitcase you are holding, that which is holding you back with its weight, is easy to unlatch and empty out.

Now Moments

Now Moments should only hold the seeds of the past as a way to understand the journey now not hamper it going forward. There is much more to be said along these lines, but suffice it to say, we are all on the journey of self-discovery but allowing the past to dictate your Now Moments is a journey we don’t share.

Calm yourself and look at the suitcase and ask yourself why you carry it. Be honest, really honest with yourself and get to the emotion of the heart of the fear for there will be your release.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Live In The Now Moments Of Life

Live in the NOW is a battle cry of many of the youthful persuasion and of those extreme sports-types that desire to push themselves to the limit.

We have been there, have we not? Times of our lives where we were living on the edge, youthful or both?

 

How to Live In The Now

We are all about living in the Now Moments of life, but take a far more philosophical approach to living Now Moments. Let em explain.

First, Now Moments. Notice that the words themselves are capitalized and this is for a reason. I have devoted myself to no longer looking at time in hours, days, weeks and months but at the moments that make up time itself.

You see, in all aspects of living, really each Now Moment has the aspects of the past, present and future ingrained in them. Isn’t it true that today is the future we dreamed of yesterday?

The point is that we have but a single moment that contains the seeds of everything we are and have been and desire to be. It is how we decide to live this Now Moment that decides our future Now Moments.

 

How to Get Happiness in Life

I desire you to know that this is not “pie in the sky” living and some type of escapism to not deal with life but a thoughtful approach to living life in the fullness of which we are all given whether we decide to grasp it or not. It is all about abundant living and it is a journey we all take. This is the truth of joy and happiness, this is true living.

Trust me, I have suffered the slings and arrows of many who I thought cared for me as I have formulated this way of living and I have grown as a result of it. I ask you to come along with me as we journey into the heart of living in dynamic Now Moments together. it will be worth the trip.

I come from a theatrical background having spent many years as a managing director of theatrical plays. I can tell you that i never once passed out scrips to my actors and said for them to learn everything about their parts and to come back a day before the show opened and we would put it all together.

 

Plan Your Future?

No, you see, ever mindful of Opening Night, we would perfect the show one Now Moment at a time as it was there contained within those rehearsals of intense, dynamic focus that the show lived on Opening Night. Do you see my meaning?

Remember what Yoda said to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars when thinking about training him?

 

"Always looking to the future this one is. Never his mind on where he is, what he is doing."  Yoda

I will draw on this many times in future Now Moments, as well as my theatrical training that helped me to formulate my Now Moments to bring you into a better appreciation for living life in the fullest Now.

I encourage you to become part of the Now Moment community by signing up for the newsletter and have the post sent directly to your inbox in those future Now Moments.

It will be a gift of living that you glean from them as we share our journeys together.

*****

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Plan Your Life - No Don’t...It Will Not Be What You Imagined Anyway

No, I am not a pessimist.

In fact, I am one of the most positive people ever. I mean, I rock it when it comes to positive thinking, really. But to plan your future to such a degree that you lose the very life in this moment is to set your self up for disappointment after disappointment.

It is just that the whole theme of this blog and my upcoming book to be released this coming year of the same name, “Don’t Plan For The Future, Just Eat Your Cinnamon Biscuits,"  is all about living your best life right now.

But it takes guts to live this way, it really does with the pressures of society, parents and friends to plan your life so that you are "happy."

So what do I mean?

I will begin an entire series of blog posts that talk about future planning but all from a perspective of living in this moment, or as I like to refer to it, the “Now Moment.”

This will be a subject that many will disagree with but I will tell you the reasoning behind every aspect of my thought process along the way. If you are totally a futurist, then, quite frankly, this will probably won’t be your style.

I must tell you that I have been and will always be a HUGE Science Fiction fan. I love the promise of what a bright future will look like and I am a gadget nut, but gadgets are not what defines a future, and certainly are nothing more than creative insights at any given moment of what a future might be.

Think about it. When you look at old Science Fiction movies, it is often what is trendy at the moment from a vision standpoint and when we see them many years later, we often can’t believe that we even thought it represented a future that we currently live in.

Why is the future you dreamed any different? Is it exactly as you imagined or fretted about? Probably, to a person, the answer is “NO.”

Planning your future is the way we are taught from the time we can learn to walk and talk. Our parents and the ones who assert authority over us tell us that we need to “think about our future,” “get good grades so we can get into a good college,” do this or that because “someone in the family has always done this,” blah, blah, blah and on it goes. (And Lord help anyone who has a passion that doesn’t fit into the “standard” of what parents or whoever thinks we should be doing to “get a good job” or to fit in or get by or whatever.)

All of the things we are told does nothing but make us miss the moment that is often so grand and glorious that to not live in it is the biggest injury we do to ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for following your passion, but to do so means living in the moment and truly discovering who you really are.

Stay with me on this journey. Get signed up for the list and lets take our future back one Now Moment at a time.

In future posts, we will talk about a range of topics centered around planning your future, or not, in this case, but always with the eye on allowing any given moment to be your future.

Confused? Well, there are moments ahead, but they are just that, one Now Moment at a time.

*****

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com