Values, Goals and Worthiness, Oh, My!

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

"Groucho" Marx, 1890-1977, Comedian and Film Star

One might think of those who are Now Moment thinkers, that they tend to not care about that which drives and motivates our actions. And, of course, as a flighty Now Moment thinker, there is no such thing as Goals and Future Planning.

As preposterous as the concept of that thinking is, let me tell you how goals and values do indeed fit into Now Moments.

Realistic Thinking?

First, there is a little mythology we must dispel before we go any further. Trust me, I've heard it all when it comes to living in the Now Moments of Life.

“Get your head out of the clouds”
“Be realistic”
“You have to have a plan for the future”

And on and on it goes. But you see, the future, like the past, doesn’t exist. Now as much as you would like to dispute that and as much as your ego will tell you differently, I ask you to let go of your egoic mind for a bit and come with me on the journey that are Now Moments.

Think of it this way when it comes to the past. Is it not but a collection of Now Moments shared? If there were no pictures, writings, monuments of people who create for themselves a slice of what they hope to be immortality, how would you define the past? Only to you does it really have meaning to yourself and the ones you share it with.

To this end, I think of the movie with Tom Hanks from several years past, “Castaway”, that had a meaningful impact on me from a Now Moment perspective. His character was a man who lived in time as an expediter of sorts for Federal Express so he was all about future planning to the microsecond. When the plane he was flying crashed into the ocean, he became a castaway on an island alone; no future, no past, just as he was.

The future had no meaning because he saw none except the Now Moments of existing and the only way he marked any semblance of the past was by marks on a cave wall as the sun arose in each new trip around the sun. It was only when he decided to build a raft, did the future matter. But it was not the future that mattered because the date and time were irrelevant. It was simply that he decided a different outcome but continued to live in Now Moments to make it a reality.

That is the essence of Now Moment thinking.

To frame this in the context of a theatrical production, as I am apt to do, it is not unlike having Opening Night set for the theatrical production. I never would pass out my scripts to the actors and those involved in the show and tell them to return a day or two all prepared and we would put it all together...hopefully. No, the play happens only in the Now Moments that we rehearse and we build on the actions of the past, and allow the Now Moments of rehearsal to prepare us for opening night.

Quite honestly, when you truly live in Now Moments, you honor the past and the future best by being ever-present in this Now Moment to build a future you desire.

Of course, your ego tells you something completely different, that the only way to live is to be always looking to the future for some great happiness of some grandiose achievement. Such are New Year’s resolutions and the failure built into them.

Here is the difference in Now Moment thinking when it comes to goals, values and worthiness, as they are intertwined. You see, your ego has defined your worthiness that is solely based on achievement and decides your values for you as well, based on some future gain.

Think about it.

The very idea of the American Dream as spelled out in movies and books; the fancy house, the car, the high-paying career, the perfect family...

Really? As the kids say, “OMG!” (and they say Now Moment thinkers have their heads in the clouds!)

Now Moment thinking does not wrap itself in such delusions. By being ever-present we can set goals that adhere to our values that we thoughtfully set for ourselves and not allow to be defined for us by the ego, society or friends or family. Our worth is not tied up in the achievement of some future event but lived in every Now Moment.

The difference for Now Moment thinkers is that our goals are Themes really, in that we have a set of values that define who we are and we create within the context of those themes of living. We do not allow our goals to define us and we are mindful of them but not living in their completion as a way we gain worth. We are worthy now and all actions we do now are simply part of the rehearsal process that gets us to Opening Night.

So, you see, to live any other way than in these Now Moments is truly unrealistic. Live Now for here is where all future moments live.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

It's Not the Resolutions But the Questions We Ask to Become Better

 What is it About New Beginnings That the New Year Brings?

As a Now Moment Coach, I am often amazed at the hoopla given to a calendar date as is New Years Day. At the core of it all, I understand the significance of the celebration, but it is all fairly predictable, is it not?

Let me give you the cycle of discussion, such as it is, that we are exposed to during this time and the various stories that are written about that are inspired to feed your egoic nature..

The various "Best" and "Worse" lists in whatever you are interested in. (Either you are cool by being connected with the “Best” or you are made to feel better about yourself because something is worse that you in some way.)

Resolutions - the making and then, breaking, of them. (Again, we are losers for wanting to do something because we are lacking in some way to make them to begin with and then again for failing at our lack mentality when we break the resolutions.)

Weight loss/Health - We are evidently "guilty" of eating too much over the holiday period and are all a bunch of fatties and now we must "get in shape" or, at least, be shamed to think as much. (Here is simply a lack mentality of how you see yourself. Do you need to shape up? Maybe, but on your own terms, not someones dictates on how you should feel about yourself.)

Damn Ego needing to be fed!

But, I make no judgements. As a coach, it is my mission to bridge the gap between the feelings of anxiousness that does indeed accompany this time of the year according to the calendar and the truth of Now Moments that we all must exist in.

First, let me say that there are some things that I do appreciate about this time of the calendar year.

For one, people, by and large, are in better spirits, or, if nothing else, at least open to renewal. Also, great questions are asked to help you focus. It’s just too bad that we don’t engage this way at all times. Well, I mean to change that for you.

What do I mean?

  Well, people get reflective and tend to dwell on successes and failures of the year past (Usually, more on the failures as that is the proclivity of the human experience) and will ask thought-provoking and reflective questions that tend to refocus their efforts into the New Year.

This is good at its core, as it is great to be always evolving into a better you, but the drawbacks are that the thinking is most always future-based on an experience that is based firmly in the past, completely negating the present Now Moment, which is exactly what the ego desires. Keeping you tied up in the past (failures) and hopeful of a better future, keeps joy from being completely present in this Now Moment.

Yes, we are to learn from past experiences, but not to the point that they glorify some future that doesn't exist as of yet. This the very nature of Now Moments. The past is simply a guide and the future is but an experience of Now Moment Actions. So this is the Moment that matters. Your past does not dictate your future. You dictate your future right NOW.

To Direct Your Own Life means you ask the right questions in each Now Moment. This is the important part of the questioning process; It is not someone else who may have a desire for the path you think you must take, for the goal will always be moving and the future will never be anything more than murky. It must be your journey alone that incorporates those around you. Therein lies the happiness factor; the individual journey taken with joy that lifts those around them in that same wake of joy. It is a universal law.

  Remember, again, it is not so much the state we are in, but the questions we must ask to free us so as to move forward, and, yes, some of that may mean we have to ask tough questions about the reason we are here in this present Now Moment state not to dwell in the past but to see the framework of this moment and adapt and change as needed.

By looking at the process as if you were in a theatrical production, it is essentially the rehearsal process here. We have rehearsed certain scenes to this point and we understand that we are now ready to rehearse another part of the play. We look back at the last scene to understand the context for this next stage of rehearsal. The past, the last scene, was merely a set up for the current piece we are rehearsing. It has no baring to the future but to set it up and work together to make the play all make sense at the end.

That is the framework of the questioning process; to set up the framework for the next scene of your life. Just allow it to flow and appreciate the journey to this point and allow the questions to guide you into the next Now Moment.

In the end, it is a matter of perspective and allowing yourself to flow in that place of peace that you must find to allow yourself the freedom to move forward.

For some reason, beer commercials always seem to have great slogans, but it is not the drinking that propelled me to like this, but the message of finding yourself in that happy place where you are free to create.

The slogan is "Find Your Beach" and it is great for the disgrace that are resolutions in general as well is the comparing of the past "failures" to some future happiness.

Indeed, if you do find your beach and allow an organic way of living to become your new reality, you will have no choice but to embrace this Now Moment alone.

This will be your guiding emotion for the Now Moments that make up your future.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Live In The Now Moments Of Life

Live in the NOW is a battle cry of many of the youthful persuasion and of those extreme sports-types that desire to push themselves to the limit.

We have been there, have we not? Times of our lives where we were living on the edge, youthful or both?

 

How to Live In The Now

We are all about living in the Now Moments of life, but take a far more philosophical approach to living Now Moments. Let em explain.

First, Now Moments. Notice that the words themselves are capitalized and this is for a reason. I have devoted myself to no longer looking at time in hours, days, weeks and months but at the moments that make up time itself.

You see, in all aspects of living, really each Now Moment has the aspects of the past, present and future ingrained in them. Isn’t it true that today is the future we dreamed of yesterday?

The point is that we have but a single moment that contains the seeds of everything we are and have been and desire to be. It is how we decide to live this Now Moment that decides our future Now Moments.

 

How to Get Happiness in Life

I desire you to know that this is not “pie in the sky” living and some type of escapism to not deal with life but a thoughtful approach to living life in the fullness of which we are all given whether we decide to grasp it or not. It is all about abundant living and it is a journey we all take. This is the truth of joy and happiness, this is true living.

Trust me, I have suffered the slings and arrows of many who I thought cared for me as I have formulated this way of living and I have grown as a result of it. I ask you to come along with me as we journey into the heart of living in dynamic Now Moments together. it will be worth the trip.

I come from a theatrical background having spent many years as a managing director of theatrical plays. I can tell you that i never once passed out scrips to my actors and said for them to learn everything about their parts and to come back a day before the show opened and we would put it all together.

 

Plan Your Future?

No, you see, ever mindful of Opening Night, we would perfect the show one Now Moment at a time as it was there contained within those rehearsals of intense, dynamic focus that the show lived on Opening Night. Do you see my meaning?

Remember what Yoda said to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars when thinking about training him?

 

"Always looking to the future this one is. Never his mind on where he is, what he is doing."  Yoda

I will draw on this many times in future Now Moments, as well as my theatrical training that helped me to formulate my Now Moments to bring you into a better appreciation for living life in the fullest Now.

I encourage you to become part of the Now Moment community by signing up for the newsletter and have the post sent directly to your inbox in those future Now Moments.

It will be a gift of living that you glean from them as we share our journeys together.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com