Values, Goals and Worthiness, Oh, My!

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

"Groucho" Marx, 1890-1977, Comedian and Film Star

One might think of those who are Now Moment thinkers, that they tend to not care about that which drives and motivates our actions. And, of course, as a flighty Now Moment thinker, there is no such thing as Goals and Future Planning.

As preposterous as the concept of that thinking is, let me tell you how goals and values do indeed fit into Now Moments.

Realistic Thinking?

First, there is a little mythology we must dispel before we go any further. Trust me, I've heard it all when it comes to living in the Now Moments of Life.

“Get your head out of the clouds”
“Be realistic”
“You have to have a plan for the future”

And on and on it goes. But you see, the future, like the past, doesn’t exist. Now as much as you would like to dispute that and as much as your ego will tell you differently, I ask you to let go of your egoic mind for a bit and come with me on the journey that are Now Moments.

Think of it this way when it comes to the past. Is it not but a collection of Now Moments shared? If there were no pictures, writings, monuments of people who create for themselves a slice of what they hope to be immortality, how would you define the past? Only to you does it really have meaning to yourself and the ones you share it with.

To this end, I think of the movie with Tom Hanks from several years past, “Castaway”, that had a meaningful impact on me from a Now Moment perspective. His character was a man who lived in time as an expediter of sorts for Federal Express so he was all about future planning to the microsecond. When the plane he was flying crashed into the ocean, he became a castaway on an island alone; no future, no past, just as he was.

The future had no meaning because he saw none except the Now Moments of existing and the only way he marked any semblance of the past was by marks on a cave wall as the sun arose in each new trip around the sun. It was only when he decided to build a raft, did the future matter. But it was not the future that mattered because the date and time were irrelevant. It was simply that he decided a different outcome but continued to live in Now Moments to make it a reality.

That is the essence of Now Moment thinking.

To frame this in the context of a theatrical production, as I am apt to do, it is not unlike having Opening Night set for the theatrical production. I never would pass out my scripts to the actors and those involved in the show and tell them to return a day or two all prepared and we would put it all together...hopefully. No, the play happens only in the Now Moments that we rehearse and we build on the actions of the past, and allow the Now Moments of rehearsal to prepare us for opening night.

Quite honestly, when you truly live in Now Moments, you honor the past and the future best by being ever-present in this Now Moment to build a future you desire.

Of course, your ego tells you something completely different, that the only way to live is to be always looking to the future for some great happiness of some grandiose achievement. Such are New Year’s resolutions and the failure built into them.

Here is the difference in Now Moment thinking when it comes to goals, values and worthiness, as they are intertwined. You see, your ego has defined your worthiness that is solely based on achievement and decides your values for you as well, based on some future gain.

Think about it.

The very idea of the American Dream as spelled out in movies and books; the fancy house, the car, the high-paying career, the perfect family...

Really? As the kids say, “OMG!” (and they say Now Moment thinkers have their heads in the clouds!)

Now Moment thinking does not wrap itself in such delusions. By being ever-present we can set goals that adhere to our values that we thoughtfully set for ourselves and not allow to be defined for us by the ego, society or friends or family. Our worth is not tied up in the achievement of some future event but lived in every Now Moment.

The difference for Now Moment thinkers is that our goals are Themes really, in that we have a set of values that define who we are and we create within the context of those themes of living. We do not allow our goals to define us and we are mindful of them but not living in their completion as a way we gain worth. We are worthy now and all actions we do now are simply part of the rehearsal process that gets us to Opening Night.

So, you see, to live any other way than in these Now Moments is truly unrealistic. Live Now for here is where all future moments live.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Guilt: The Other White Meat - Part 2

 What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Dennis Miller

Oh, great! Now I have guilt!

T. Rex, from Toy Story

What is it about humanity that we have decided that guilt is the way we relate on such interpersonal levels to one another knowing that it is based in fear, as discussed in the previous post (part I)?

What is it about the ego within us all that we have decided that to keep our little superiority acts in check, we have to be the ones to guilt others into complying with our wishes? Are we so non-trusting within ourselves that we feel that we have to control others, not to mention ourselves, with guilt?

Ego and Guilt Work Hand-in-Hand

In living in Now Moments, guilt can really have no hold on us as it only seeks to keep the past ever present and living and the future looming within us, usually as nothing more than some type of dishonor of our past. The Now Moment is then completely obliterated as non-important, which is exactly as the ego has decided needs to happen.

By the way, the ego completely hates Now Moments.

You see, Now Moments are designed for us to have clarity in this moment so we can plant seeds of greatness in the next Now Moments to come. Guilt robs us of that clarity and keeps our disgusting past that guilt tends to persuade us exists, forever present so that the beauty of this Now Moment is completely abandoned. The ego desires you not to have peace in each and every Now Moment as then what would be the reason for ego to exist in the first place?

Trust me, I have heard more than my share of why “healthy guilt” is a good thing speech, so no need bother. Is the very term not an oxymoron to begin with, and, quite frankly, when people use it they usually have to justify the existence of the term at the very outset.

Guilt is associated with fear and there is no justification for giving fear to another person or living in fear as the spirit of fear is a debilitating spirit that robs you of all joy.

3 Step Process To Plow Through Guilt

Let me give you a quick three-step process that will help you with guilt.

1. Release. This is the first step of taking back your Now Moments. Release yourself, first and foremost. If you want to say it another way, forgive yourself. The past is the past and whatever is done is done. Keeping some past mistake alive forever in the throws of guilt does nothing for your ability to make this Now Moment precious. So you must first release yourself.

2. Let Go. This may seem to be like release but it is all together different in that you must truly let go of guilt by putting space between you and it. Release is the willingness to do so, Letting go is the action.

3. Flow. This is now the most important aspect of the process as it is based in peace. The peace of this Now Moment is a simple allowing of life to unfold all around you so you can become that ever-moving force of strength to yourself and to others around you. In peace there is tranquility within and that always presents itself as a quiet strength without.

Guilt is not healthy, EVER.

Release, Let go and Flow into each and every Now Moment for there the seeds of greatness live.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Worthy, Do you Feel Your Now Moments Are Filled With Worth?

Worth.
Being Worthy.
Worthiness.

Strange concepts that many fashion in the face of any challenging situation, are they not? Yet, we have all faced these exact emotions of the soul in living our lives; being worthy of anything, deserving anything.

 

To Be Worthy

Where have we come as a species if we question the ability to function on any level as a person who is supposed to exist? What has happened to us that, for some reason, we have decided that we are not worthy of some thing, some person in our life or some form of abundance?

I am questioned constantly about the very nature of being worthy and really it goes back to a previous post written about the past and fear. For some reason circumstances in the past have deemed you unfit for this Now Moment, as you see it, or, in reality, someone else has seen it as a rule of life for you.

 

Feeling Inferior

When I hear someone talk this way, it always draws me back to one of my favorite quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In this quote, you find the seeds of riding yourself of the past that seeks to bind you and fill you with self-doubt and unworthiness. Essentially, your ego, which is the bane of all existence as you will come to learn from me, is trying to hold you back from living truly in this Now Moment by making you think you are not truly deserving of it.

Face it, if you are still breathing, you are worthy as deemed by the creator of the universe. Now if that doesn’t make you feel a bit worthy, I am not sure exactly what will.

 

The Ego Is In Charge Way Too Much

Now with that being said, shame and guilt also play into a feeling of worthiness as well. There will be much discussion on each topics, but suffice it to say this is the Now Moment you have to live and being worthy is always...ALWAYS...an attitude of the heart and soul. You use the past as but the place that holds experience that gives you input into this Now Moment but never shall it be anything more than a guide. Do not allow it to give you any sort of worthiness issues as you are here for a reason.

Remember, the universe makes no mistakes, everything is perfect in its own time and place. No matter what you have done up to this Now Moment that you have deemed (or someone else has deemed) “unworthy” is not a reflection of what you will plant as seeds for the next Now Moments you exist.

 

Attitude of Gratitude

You are to give this Now Moment its dynamic place in your life as the one that is the place of change, hope and love that you seek to be within. Living in a state of gratitude in this Now Moment will give you a sense of worth to carry you into the next Now Moment and by simply releasing yourself to gratitude, you will find the gift of who you are and who you are to be.

It is your Now Moment to affect change for yourself and to see the positive aspect of living Now, so give this Now Moment its place as the one that matters most, because it does.

******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com