Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Guilt: The Other White Meat - Part 2

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Dennis Miller

Oh, great! Now I have guilt!

T. Rex, from Toy Story

What is it about humanity that we have decided that guilt is the way we relate on such interpersonal levels to one another knowing that it is based in fear, as discussed in the previous post (part I)?

What is it about the ego within us all that we have decided that to keep our little superiority acts in check, we have to be the ones to guilt others into complying with our wishes? Are we so non-trusting within ourselves that we feel that we have to control others, not to mention ourselves, with guilt?

Ego and Guilt Work Hand-in-Hand

In living in Now Moments, guilt can really have no hold on us as it only seeks to keep the past ever present and living and the future looming within us, usually as nothing more than some type of dishonor of our past. The Now Moment is then completely obliterated as non-important, which is exactly as the ego has decided needs to happen.

By the way, the ego completely hates Now Moments.

You see, Now Moments are designed for us to have clarity in this moment so we can plant seeds of greatness in the next Now Moments to come. Guilt robs us of that clarity and keeps our disgusting past that guilt tends to persuade us exists, forever present so that the beauty of this Now Moment is completely abandoned. The ego desires you not to have peace in each and every Now Moment as then what would be the reason for ego to exist in the first place?

Trust me, I have heard more than my share of why “healthy guilt” is a good thing speech, so no need bother. Is the very term not an oxymoron to begin with, and, quite frankly, when people use it they usually have to justify the existence of the term at the very outset.

Guilt is associated with fear and there is no justification for giving fear to another person or living in fear as the spirit of fear is a debilitating spirit that robs you of all joy.

3 Step Process To Plow Through Guilt

Let me give you a quick three-step process that will help you with guilt.

1. Release. This is the first step of taking back your Now Moments. Release yourself, first and foremost. If you want to say it another way, forgive yourself. The past is the past and whatever is done is done. Keeping some past mistake alive forever in the throws of guilt does nothing for your ability to make this Now Moment precious. So you must first release yourself.

2. Let Go. This may seem to be like release but it is all together different in that you must truly let go of guilt by putting space between you and it. Release is the willingness to do so, Letting go is the action.

3. Flow. This is now the most important aspect of the process as it is based in peace. The peace of this Now Moment is a simple allowing of life to unfold all around you so you can become that ever-moving force of strength to yourself and to others around you. In peace there is tranquility within and that always presents itself as a quiet strength without.

Guilt is not healthy, EVER.

Release, Let go and Flow into each and every Now Moment for there the seeds of greatness live.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Past is Past: Live Free Without Baggage

Now Moments are but a culmination of the past. But here is a concept, the past is past, so why let it allow itself to influence future Now Moments, which don’t exist yet, and, certainly, should not affect this Now Moment unless it is something that must be dealt with now.

First a discussion about the baggage we carry around with us that is our past.

It is my assertion that whether the baggage is “good” or “bad” and that, my friend, is always subjective, that baggage serves you as you carry it around for whatever reason. I know you are saying “I don’t desire this pain or this burden” but still you have decided to carry it with you and allow it to affect you in this Now Moment in some way, even to the extent that you make decisions that are not ideally logical or sensible based on the fear of the past.

For Fear That

Yes, that is what the past intrinsically is based in most of the time, fear. The fear of not repeating the same mistakes. The fear of being labeled this or that. The fear of ultimately being judged and is that not the ultimate fear? Isn’t that what most peer pressure is based on? The judgment of peers or not being part of the group.

So, I guess you could say, fear and acceptance go hand-in-hand, right? Because we all want to be accepted at some level into a group, maybe we should take a note from the great comedian from the past, Groucho Marx, who said when talking about joining a club, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. “ In that quote we find the ultimate attitude of not allowing others to dictate your actions.

The Past is The Past

Fear is that constant of the past that cripples us in these Now Moments. Rid yourself of fear and many items of the past would come crumbling down. As I often tell those I coach that the thing about any suitcase, what we would think of baggage, is that they are always equipped with latches or zippers in which you are free to open them and empty the contents AT ANY TIME. The challenge is that, for some reason, many believe that once they are latched or zipped, that it appears that some type of super-secret code or key is needed to undo it.

In reality, the super-secret code or key is your own mind and your decision to release it. The real secret is to determine how the baggage is serving you, I mean, getting to the core emotion as to why it benefits you to carry it with you. When you get to that point, you will find that the suitcase you are holding, that which is holding you back with its weight, is easy to unlatch and empty out.

Now Moments

Now Moments should only hold the seeds of the past as a way to understand the journey now not hamper it going forward. There is much more to be said along these lines, but suffice it to say, we are all on the journey of self-discovery but allowing the past to dictate your Now Moments is a journey we don’t share.

Calm yourself and look at the suitcase and ask yourself why you carry it. Be honest, really honest with yourself and get to the emotion of the heart of the fear for there will be your release.