3 Steps to Abate Worry and Live Now

There is nothing that can invade the mindfulness of a true Present Moment thinker such as worry. It is that egoic nature that can take the tranquility of the present Now Moment and give the ego complete and total charge of all that surrounds your Mission. Worry is that ever-present reality, it seems, for most as they travel from Now Moment to Now Moment.

But why is that?

In a study i read recently, it was stated that a mere 8% of things people worried about actually manifested as reality. I would add that of that 8%, probably most things were so desired, so worried about, that they were going to happen no matter what. it is the Law of Attraction in action in a not-so-good use.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that we are so desperate to desire some unforeseen future that we will manifest it even to the detriment of our very existence. It tells us that the ego will go to extreme lengths to keep a hold on you, because worry is such as life itself. You forget about the actuality of that which might happen for the understanding that it might happen. Essentially, most are in such a common place of worry that when one thing happens that they have indeed worried about, it becomes 100%. It happened just as you thought it would and now the ego can use it to bolster its claim on you as the defender of your safety.

In the world of theatre, it is as i have seen. An actor has an overall great performance and one person out of a hundred tells them that they didn’t like their performance. One person! Guess what happens? That’s correct my young Jedi, they obsess about the one, not taking into context at all why that one person didn’t like it, as if it matters. But i have seen a single bad comment take an actor and make them doubt themselves because they worry about another comment to the point that their performance suffers. So the very thing they worry about does indeed manifest.

Worry, really then, is all about the ego. The funny thing is that we have all done it, have we not? Because worry brings forth doubt in ourselves and our situation, we then define ourselves by the very worry we are in any moment we decide to commit ourselves to it. Even more bizarre is our capacity to see others commit themselves to worry and tell them not to.

But since the ego is really at the heart of worry, how can we make sense of it all? Worry is a natural part of life, is it not? I mean, our very existence is given images of worry in every facet of living by our news media alone. The media feeds on worry and 90% of commercials are worry about some future event happening in your life if you don’t use their product. I have even seen a pill you can take in case you might have heartburn in the future. I am not kidding.

What is the number one cause of heart troubles in the USA alone? Stress. What is stress usually caused by? Worry about some future outcome.

I had a coaching client who recently came to a session in tears. Her daughter was in the midst of a divorce and she was “worried” about the grandchildren and the long-term affect on them. As i probed deeper, as that must always be done with worry, it came out that it her daughter’s divorce was somehow a reflection on her. Her parenting, her life in general. Her ego had so encased her in worry and how it was somehow an attack on her very core, that some perceived outcome with her grandchildren was now keeping her in a state of worry about some unknown future.

You see how clever worry is used by the ego? Ultimately, most worry is somehow an attack on YOU and must be dealt with. Just the absurdity of it all makes most laugh but it is an ever-present danger within us all if we are not vigilant in keeping worry at bay.

Living in the Present Moment is freedom from worry but takes a conscious effort to rid yourself of the egoic nature that inhabits the very core of worry.

3 Steps to Begin the Process of Ending Worry

First, when worry is presented as an option, take it to its end.

What do i mean by that?

Be an actor and write the script. Take the object of worry and make a play out of it, which is what worry is, by the way. The ego makes a whole play out that you actually believe it to be true. This time, however, you write it in your head with whatever far-fetched conclusion that could happen. Make a game of it. There is an old saying that you “illustrate absurdity by being absurd” and this is what is the intent. When you see the ridiculousness of all that must happen for the worry to become manifest, it really is quite amusing.

Second, decide that you are going to be ever-present in this Now Moment and that worry will not determine a future that does not exist. Just the very act of making a solid commitment will alert you when worry rears its ugly head.

Third, acknowledge the egos effort. Now, that might seem a bit strange, but if you treat the ego as it should be, as nothing more than someone from the mailroom, instead of the CEO of the company known as YOU, then you will go far in abating worry.

The ego will tell you all kinds of things to supposedly be in your best interest, but what the ego is trying to do is to be the one who makes all the decisions for you. The sad part is that most allow the ego to be in charge. Take back the night, here. The ego HATES Now Moment living and by keeping you in a constant state of worry about the future gives it full control. Be better than that. Be ever-present in the Now.

Worry is the beast that will rear its ugly head in your life and you must be aware, but it is a beast that can be eradicated for as Benjamin Disraeli was quoted as saying, “Worry (the ego) - a God, invisible but omnipotent. It steals the bloom from the cheek and lightness from the pulse; it takes away the appetite, and turns the hair gray.”

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Appreciation for the Mission in The Present Moment

Appreciation is the core value that manifest a Mission that truly reflects the very nature of the love of life. Appreciation is that beautiful nature that can’t be faked or manufactured, such as you see when Hollywood does with some Thanksgiving feast when a troubled family seemingly comes together and gives feigned appreciation.

For as far as i can remember, i was troubled at something at the way appreciation was portrayed along with the following season. Don’t get me wrong, it is grand to see people become Scrooges for if even for a brief season; the part where Scrooge is transformed, that is.

But only when i took my journey that has set me on my Mission to give people back themselves, did i really understand the depth of appreciation and what it actually does to the soul. It is my belief that at the heart of the very spiritual concept of faith is appreciation. It is appreciation that provides the prism for all of life. It is appreciation for life that we begin to see beyond ourselves.

It goes beyond the concepts of forced “thank yous” we all had to give when our aunt gave us the scarf we didn’t really like, or some other manifested reason appeared that we should be thankful for.

It is in the well-meaning actions of those who loved us that we were given such a skewed look at the very meaning of appreciation in our lives. So many times it comes off as a forced look at a guilt reaction of what someone has done for us. So the appreciation then becomes a bitter pill you swallow that has no meaning outside of the words you utter. Guilt becomes appreciation to the ego and resentment often nest deep within it.

I see it often times with the very act of gift giving where someone gives a gift, expects appreciation, which you have been taught to do, and then proceeds to tell you at some future time, that because they gave you a gift, that a certain action should now be manifest, be it love or some supposed show of love. The ego then drills down to the act of the forced appreciation that you did and begins to feed on the very act of appreciation as a ploy or ruse and bitterness begins to accumulate. Love and appreciation are often time so linked that one would believe that they must coexist together.

Yes and No. For you see, if you come from a place of love, appreciation is at the heart of everything you do, but appreciation must never demand love. Make sense?

This is one of the hardest values to really uncover, for most will tell you that appreciate this and that in their lives, but you can see that appreciation is not their core. To breech this with clients, i often get to the very act of gift giving and have found that most have had (or do) the “weapons of gifts”, as i like to call them, inflicted on them.

What i must first get most over is that a gift, defined in the dictionary as, “A thing given willingly to someone without payment.” is just that.

In the spiritual realm it is often why so many have a hard time with a gift of salvation, in that our ego knows that there are always strings attached, so there is nothing “freely given.” So getting people past that attitude and the very act of doing that to others as well, is the first hurdle. When you can get ego to release the assumptions of gifts, of giving and of the very nature of appreciation, then we can begin to give you back your life starting from that point.

Appreciation is the core value of the Mission for your life and for living from a place of love. Here is where we begin to master looking beyond yourself and seeing that life is indeed a Mission that you are involved in.
Let’s look at three ways to begin the process of Appreciation, but know that we have only touched the surface of having a true Attitude of Gratitude.

In my morning journal practice, i begin with “thank you thank you thank you” and i truly mean it. This is the act of preparation to receive from an attitude of being thankful for all within your life.

First, then, would be to prepare yourself by being thankful form the outset for EVERYTHING. Nothing must exist within your realm that is not appreciated.
In the movie, “A Wonderful Life”, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, has just discovered that he is back from being “non-existent” and is running down his little street of Bedford Falls. As he is doing so, appreciation for every aspect of his little town spews from his mouth. All of those places he took for granted, now had a new meaning and he appreciated everything for what it was to him. He now lived in an attitude of gratitude and in that light he saw his Mission for living and that he had been on a Mission without really understanding it.

Next, after you have truly given yourself over to appreciation of everything, there is an aspect of release that you must do. Forgiveness must now be your nature. First yourself, and, then, all other people, places and things that the ego has told you have wronged you in any way. This is a process, but one that must take place to move forward. Living free from here means you can now move beyond yourself to a Mission mindset.

Finally, in our simple three step appreciation appreciation manifestation, is to release worry, which is a task in and of itself that affects your Mission, the going beyond yourself to impact humanity.

In the next post we shall proceed form that point and deal with worry as it is a challenge that must have its own discussion.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Mission of the Vision

Vision was discussed in relation to goals in the previous post as something to aspire to.

Briefly we discussed goals as merely a subset of the larger vision of a life with a purpose, a Mission for your eternal pursuits.

However, in this ego-driven culture, Mission is often left to those ‘starving artist” and those who dedicate their selves to helping those in need in some remote part of the world or in some place of dire need in our own country.

A Mission often seems to be left to politicians that supposedly have the social good in mind, which we usually discover is seldom the case. Even the very definition of Mission from the dictionary alludes to missions from a standpoint of political and humanitarian efforts.

Therein lies the disconnect.

When we look at Mission then in the eyes of a cynical world, and with an ego that is constantly looking out for your own interest, it seems that a Mission is not really something that everyone is involved in, or should be, for far too many have corrupted the very meaning of the word.

The eternal creator of the universe did not set us adrift to be at the whim of a society that cares not but, in the eternal scheme of it all, desires nothing more than people with vision to lead them into a new age of enlightenment.

Here is where the ego usually shuts the discussion down as Enlightenment, Vision and Missions are certainly not practical. The egoic mind desires only to keep you forever tied to the past and worried about the future in a way to keep you focused on self-preservation, there will certainly be no talk of a Mission outside of yourself, for that is the very act of acknowledging an eternal presence that has no place in the ego-centric mind. Mission stuff is “out there” and reality is nothing more than your failures of the past and of the future, which is always to be worried about.

Often the heartaches of the past, the ego will tell you, would not even allow you to think that YOU, of all people, could have a Mission that could impact the world. This is precisely why you should think of a Mission for your life. Yes, it is tied to Vision and the two are usually so interwoven that it seems to be a daunting task to even conceive of it.

The ego tells you that you are not worthy for greatness, that you cant change the world, that “out there” pursuits are best left to those who are rich, or are crafty or whatever else the ego tells you to disavow that need within divinely given to you to create. The ego is crafty as them all by telling you that until you get to a certain status, income or whatever, that this Mission stuff be best left to those who have the ability to do so.

In the theatre, there is a much heralded saying that says, “There are no small parts, only small actors.” Of course, it has been misused as a quote used to those who get small parts in a production who desired bigger roles, but the concept is not without merit. I learned that early on when i, too, desired a bigger part and got a smaller role. In a sense, it was that role that turned on a switch for me as i discovered the power of a smaller role and the truth about all parts of a production.

I even illustrated this point to a cast of actors during a production once. It seemed that they were being a bit disrespectful to the backstage crew, essentially being talent-snobs, as i would call them, and i set out to prove the dynamic of that saying. I told the actors that they would do the show at the rehearsal with the crew watching. As the show progressed, the actors struggled doing all of the things they took for granted that the crew did to make them look good.

It proved a point that those actors learned about appreciation for all who were involved in the show at every level.

There is even a larger lesson that came from that lesson, and that was appreciation for the Mission in general. The ego is such a controlling core concept that appreciation is lost for living in general. Life is a struggle, the ego tells you, and there is no way to appreciate EVERYTHING.

This is at the very core of your Mission. Appreciation for the journey and for the freedom to allow the Mission to become you.

In the next post, come back for the ways to manifest that within yourself and maybe you will find that your Mission has been in front of your eyes without your knowledge.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Mindfulness and Living With Vision

As humans with stories that we tell that become our existence, not only do we become those stories, but we use them as a way to define moments lived solely in the future. The future becomes a continuation of the stories and not a place lived in love, a place lacking a Vision or mission. The future is then the ever-present reality of that place we are always striving for in the past.

While it is mindful to imagine a future filled with things, as it is the human condition to have goals, there is a danger here. Goals are not Vision, but are merely subsets thereof. It is in the bible that the words are penned, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” but here is the distinction.

As creatures of expansion, as has been given to us by our creator and is the way of the universe, we sometimes mistake Goals for Vision. You can have a goal to make a certain amount of money, but that is just a thing, a tangible object that defines your pursuit.

But Vision is completely different; the definition, besides the obvious of someone seeing, is:

1. Unusual competence in discernment or perception; intelligent foresight: a leader of vision.
2. The manner in which one sees or conceives of something.
3. A mental image produced by the imagination.
4. The mystical experience of seeing as if with the eyes the supernatural or a supernatural being.

You see, Vision carries an extra dynamic and has all of the component of mindfulness built into it. Vision is that process of not just seeing some thing to be obtained, but really a larger-than-yourself experience to better the human condition.

Vision carries the very presence of living completely in the Present Moment because, quite frankly, when you think in a supernatural realm, you intrinsically know that there is only this Now Moment to achieve Vision. It seems like a dichotomy, two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory concepts, that cannot possibly work together.

How can having a Vision to change the world NOT be totally future based?

For the simple reason that when you release the ego and go outside yourself, there is only a passion that must live in this Present Moment alone. You have only this Present Moment alone to be the person of change, the person of Vision. You must first be that vision for yourself, and then it becomes the driving force for living life.

In the concept of a theatrical experience, Goals would be like opening a show, Opening Night, while the vision would be to change the way the very experience of theatre is perceived to the people you serve. You introduce art and beauty to a world that maybe had limited, if any, exposure prior to this point.

That is Vision. To raise the experience of the beauty of art to another level that transcends the Opening Night experience. The Vision then becomes a mission to impact the human condition.

Remember as you create goals, that it is really about having a Vision for who you are as a person of quality. Be more than merely goals. Become the Vision and lose your ego to the greater good. Then you will truly experience beauty in living, a true love for life.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Mindfulness: 3 Ways To Allow Mindfulness To Impact the Present Moment

Einstein was right, although wasn’t he about most things? You must indeed keep your balance on a bike, but let me carry it one step further as it relates to being mindful. Not only must you keep your balance, you must keep moving forward and be ever mindful of your surroundings as you do so. Unlike driving a car, which many seem to believe they can do a multitude of other things as they drive around, riding a bike is a very mindful event.

Unlike driving a car which can run over most small obstacles without a concern (of course, many of those small objects, like animals, may not be too excited about your lack of focus), you have to be ever mindful of your terrain, down to the very stick in the road, as you are balancing on two wheels and one slight over-steering results in you seeing what the road looks like in front of you, in a very close and intimate way.

Also, being mindful is being totally connected to the Now-ness of it all. Essentially, we may know where we are going and have plotted our course, but it is in the here and now that the ride happens. If we lose focus for one second, we fall. It is the balance of the moment; the essential mindfulness of the present moment that keeps us forever focused on the immediacy of the journey ahead, for only here can we maintain the safety and security of our ride.

It is as i have said when putting together a theatre production, Opening Night happens one rehearsal at a time. Such it is in life, the journey happens one Present Moment at a time.

There is a trend in the business community for laser focus, thankfully getting away from the concept of multitasking. Admittedly, i am one who has been prone to that, having a lot of things going at once. That it is the director in me, i suppose, as i have to be able to see the big picture when directing a show. When watching several performances at once you have to quickly scan for blending elements of the actors so as to blend all performances of a show. It is a gift, so the concept of multitasking seems not out of line, but as i really understand the directing pursuit, i understand that the creator endows each with gifts and that contained within those gifts are the aspect of focus; a singular, laser like focus. That is mindfulness in its purist form.

3 Tips to Allow Mindfulness Within

1. As stated, like riding a bike and producing a stage play, know your destination, but don’t “Live” there. It is the Opening Night, the objective or goal you desire, that matters. But do not allow the ego to be in charge. Clarity. Exacting clarity with the end in mind is the objective so that the nights of rehearsal make sense.

For example, I would not tell actors that we are doing a show about a couple in love and not really know the way the show is structured. We have a script that we follow. I have found that those without a script have no peace, no mindfulness in the present moment.

2. Be confident in who you are, that you have a purpose and are acting at your highest level. Acting is a fickle beast and the mistake many make as actors as not playing to their strengths.

An example from my beginning years as an actor. It was high school. I was still trying to define myself as an actor as to what i really loved from an acting perspective. I desired the lead role in the school musical, South Pacific. Now. i was definitely not leading man looking material. I mean, I could act it, but i was a scrawny, developing kid. I mean, i took voice lessons and everything, and the kid that got cast in the role was a basketball player who looked the part. Such is acting and such are the lessons learned along the way. Play to your strengths and you will get the roles. You will define the roles that bring you mindfulness in these Now Moments.

3. Don’t take your cue from those around you as to what your role is. Don’t let others define you. You see it in every arena of life. When others define you, you never truly know what role you are playing. Take any politician, for example. When there opponent defines them with some type of negative advertisement, and they fail to respond, they have lost. I’ve seen it as a director. An actor will listen to another actor’s advice on how to do their role and, in the process, lose the effectiveness of the role completely. It is only when you define yourself, and stay true to who you are in your role that you operate at a level of confidence. You are true to you and you are the only one you are truly responsible for.

So Mindfulness equals, Clarity, Confidence and Role Definition. These three components can begin to get you on that bicycle heading in the right direction.

Always remember that it is in this Present Moment alone that gets you to your goal. That is all you have. That is all you will ever have.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach , teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com