Anxiety: 3 Ways to Identify the Root Cause

There are so many ways that anxiety seems to rear its ugly head in a society that treasures achievement, sometimes to the detriment of living itself.

Strong words, maybe, but i am not here to tread lightly as i have no desire to coddle anyone when it comes to living victoriously in the love of life.

It seems as if we are expected to “be” so much, are we not?

But sometimes in the very act of becoming, we simply forget to just “Be.” We allow so many influences, from family and friends, to society-at-large, to set the tone for our living. We become, then, filled with an angst that stems from so many voices crying out to us, seeming in our own heads. It is the call of expectations of all in our lives who demand that we are “more”, whatever that is.

More than what? More than who? And more importantly, WHY?

The past beacons us, our “so-called” failures beseech us, our ego compares us and we sink deeper into the abyss, often falling on the weight of fears of a future that we can not support or even imagine.

Why are you anxious? What are the signs and symptoms we should be dealing with here? And, the real question; Who are you in the process?

As a Life Coach, this is the area that seems to be the most pressing for most i encounter. Anxiety, worry, angst, depression...they are all tied into a precarious knot that can doom many and even lead few to consider even taking their own lives.

But there is always a core that the anxiety covers and that is the journey we take to discover the beauty of living in the Present Moment, for here is where all truth lives. This is the Now Moment that we find a way up and out and into a new way of living.

But the ultimate truth is always our own journey that must be discovered. To truly rid yourself of the anxiety in any situation, or just in your daily living, you must do some basic self-reflection steps to have the insight to move forward. Be it with a Life Coach, or through meditation, or just taking yourself fishing...whatever it takes to gain some clarity, it needs to be done.

My father had a peculiar saying that he would spout when Alzheimer's had taken its grip on him and that was, “Hey, did you stop and smell the roses?”

Seemingly out of nowhere, he would interject the saying into conversations. Now my father would occasionally say that growing up, usually as a glib saying, but the simple fact is that there is an ultimate truth here for life. It is a quote that is thrown about so much that we do sometimes forget its significance.

A famous golfer, Ben Hogan, said it beautifully when he said, “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

3 Ways to Begin the Transition Away from Anxiety

Anxiety is a far reaching subject, to be sure, but as it was in the theatre, to get ready for the production of any theatrical production, there are things that have to happen before we even get to rehearsals. We have to consider a lot of factors before even choosing the show and consider all of the elements that go into the production.

The three ways we begin the process is similar then to getting ready for a show; separation, reflection and connection.

When preparing for a show, the separation usually comes from a director getting with the board of directors to choose a vision for a production asking such questions such as, do we do a comedy or is a musical good now?

So when it comes to setting the stage for getting to the heart of your anxiety, you must be willing to prepare.

Step 1: Separation

The goal is to separate ourselves in an atmosphere free from distractions; yes that means your precious smart phone, tablet or laptop.

Silence is golden here.

Take time for yourself to free yourself from the rush and crush of life for a bit.

The Second Step: Self Reflection

This is the step that may be the most heartfelt, or should be. This is you identifying the root core and being completely honest with who and where you are in this current moment. Putting all angst aside, you are indeed present in this moment.

So in this Now Moment, the worry that brought you to this point has nothing to do with this moment, so drop it. You are here, be here completely Now. Do not allow the future that your ego is painting for you to exist. Make your own rules, which leads us to the third step.

Step 3: Connection or Connectivity

Such as is preparation to start the theatrical production, these are the components that you have identified in your reflection stage that will move you away from angst; the concepts, people, places and things that you need to begin the process of looking towards the light that is your life. This is the process of the understanding that there is always a way forward.

In the end, it is a solitary journey that opens itself up to the resources the Universe provides for those who are willing to allow for a brighter future. Anxiety is not a way to live in this Present Moment and has no place here. Let’s begin the process together for while it is indeed a solitary journey, you are never alone.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

3 Steps to Abate Worry and Live Now

There is nothing that can invade the mindfulness of a true Present Moment thinker such as worry. It is that egoic nature that can take the tranquility of the present Now Moment and give the ego complete and total charge of all that surrounds your Mission. Worry is that ever-present reality, it seems, for most as they travel from Now Moment to Now Moment.

But why is that?

In a study i read recently, it was stated that a mere 8% of things people worried about actually manifested as reality. I would add that of that 8%, probably most things were so desired, so worried about, that they were going to happen no matter what. it is the Law of Attraction in action in a not-so-good use.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that we are so desperate to desire some unforeseen future that we will manifest it even to the detriment of our very existence. It tells us that the ego will go to extreme lengths to keep a hold on you, because worry is such as life itself. You forget about the actuality of that which might happen for the understanding that it might happen. Essentially, most are in such a common place of worry that when one thing happens that they have indeed worried about, it becomes 100%. It happened just as you thought it would and now the ego can use it to bolster its claim on you as the defender of your safety.

In the world of theatre, it is as i have seen. An actor has an overall great performance and one person out of a hundred tells them that they didn’t like their performance. One person! Guess what happens? That’s correct my young Jedi, they obsess about the one, not taking into context at all why that one person didn’t like it, as if it matters. But i have seen a single bad comment take an actor and make them doubt themselves because they worry about another comment to the point that their performance suffers. So the very thing they worry about does indeed manifest.

Worry, really then, is all about the ego. The funny thing is that we have all done it, have we not? Because worry brings forth doubt in ourselves and our situation, we then define ourselves by the very worry we are in any moment we decide to commit ourselves to it. Even more bizarre is our capacity to see others commit themselves to worry and tell them not to.

But since the ego is really at the heart of worry, how can we make sense of it all? Worry is a natural part of life, is it not? I mean, our very existence is given images of worry in every facet of living by our news media alone. The media feeds on worry and 90% of commercials are worry about some future event happening in your life if you don’t use their product. I have even seen a pill you can take in case you might have heartburn in the future. I am not kidding.

What is the number one cause of heart troubles in the USA alone? Stress. What is stress usually caused by? Worry about some future outcome.

I had a coaching client who recently came to a session in tears. Her daughter was in the midst of a divorce and she was “worried” about the grandchildren and the long-term affect on them. As i probed deeper, as that must always be done with worry, it came out that it her daughter’s divorce was somehow a reflection on her. Her parenting, her life in general. Her ego had so encased her in worry and how it was somehow an attack on her very core, that some perceived outcome with her grandchildren was now keeping her in a state of worry about some unknown future.

You see how clever worry is used by the ego? Ultimately, most worry is somehow an attack on YOU and must be dealt with. Just the absurdity of it all makes most laugh but it is an ever-present danger within us all if we are not vigilant in keeping worry at bay.

Living in the Present Moment is freedom from worry but takes a conscious effort to rid yourself of the egoic nature that inhabits the very core of worry.

3 Steps to Begin the Process of Ending Worry

First, when worry is presented as an option, take it to its end.

What do i mean by that?

Be an actor and write the script. Take the object of worry and make a play out of it, which is what worry is, by the way. The ego makes a whole play out that you actually believe it to be true. This time, however, you write it in your head with whatever far-fetched conclusion that could happen. Make a game of it. There is an old saying that you “illustrate absurdity by being absurd” and this is what is the intent. When you see the ridiculousness of all that must happen for the worry to become manifest, it really is quite amusing.

Second, decide that you are going to be ever-present in this Now Moment and that worry will not determine a future that does not exist. Just the very act of making a solid commitment will alert you when worry rears its ugly head.

Third, acknowledge the egos effort. Now, that might seem a bit strange, but if you treat the ego as it should be, as nothing more than someone from the mailroom, instead of the CEO of the company known as YOU, then you will go far in abating worry.

The ego will tell you all kinds of things to supposedly be in your best interest, but what the ego is trying to do is to be the one who makes all the decisions for you. The sad part is that most allow the ego to be in charge. Take back the night, here. The ego HATES Now Moment living and by keeping you in a constant state of worry about the future gives it full control. Be better than that. Be ever-present in the Now.

Worry is the beast that will rear its ugly head in your life and you must be aware, but it is a beast that can be eradicated for as Benjamin Disraeli was quoted as saying, “Worry (the ego) - a God, invisible but omnipotent. It steals the bloom from the cheek and lightness from the pulse; it takes away the appetite, and turns the hair gray.”

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Mindfulness and Living With Vision

As humans with stories that we tell that become our existence, not only do we become those stories, but we use them as a way to define moments lived solely in the future. The future becomes a continuation of the stories and not a place lived in love, a place lacking a Vision or mission. The future is then the ever-present reality of that place we are always striving for in the past.

While it is mindful to imagine a future filled with things, as it is the human condition to have goals, there is a danger here. Goals are not Vision, but are merely subsets thereof. It is in the bible that the words are penned, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” but here is the distinction.

As creatures of expansion, as has been given to us by our creator and is the way of the universe, we sometimes mistake Goals for Vision. You can have a goal to make a certain amount of money, but that is just a thing, a tangible object that defines your pursuit.

But Vision is completely different; the definition, besides the obvious of someone seeing, is:

1. Unusual competence in discernment or perception; intelligent foresight: a leader of vision.
2. The manner in which one sees or conceives of something.
3. A mental image produced by the imagination.
4. The mystical experience of seeing as if with the eyes the supernatural or a supernatural being.

You see, Vision carries an extra dynamic and has all of the component of mindfulness built into it. Vision is that process of not just seeing some thing to be obtained, but really a larger-than-yourself experience to better the human condition.

Vision carries the very presence of living completely in the Present Moment because, quite frankly, when you think in a supernatural realm, you intrinsically know that there is only this Now Moment to achieve Vision. It seems like a dichotomy, two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory concepts, that cannot possibly work together.

How can having a Vision to change the world NOT be totally future based?

For the simple reason that when you release the ego and go outside yourself, there is only a passion that must live in this Present Moment alone. You have only this Present Moment alone to be the person of change, the person of Vision. You must first be that vision for yourself, and then it becomes the driving force for living life.

In the concept of a theatrical experience, Goals would be like opening a show, Opening Night, while the vision would be to change the way the very experience of theatre is perceived to the people you serve. You introduce art and beauty to a world that maybe had limited, if any, exposure prior to this point.

That is Vision. To raise the experience of the beauty of art to another level that transcends the Opening Night experience. The Vision then becomes a mission to impact the human condition.

Remember as you create goals, that it is really about having a Vision for who you are as a person of quality. Be more than merely goals. Become the Vision and lose your ego to the greater good. Then you will truly experience beauty in living, a true love for life.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com