Enlightenment, The 3 Steps, Part II: The Letting Go

Have you ever heard anyone say, I forgive such and such but i will never forget it?

It is like going to a family function that most dread during any holiday season. You have grown and matured and maybe even have a larger view of the Universal Way than most in your family, and this is not an egoic statement, but a journey that you just understand that you have taken.

But you get home and all you hear from your family is how you failed at this as a kid or did this stupid thing or that stupid thing. You know, the natural process of growing up and learning what works and what doesn’t for yourself that we all go through, but somehow has not been branded on you as an anchor against moving forward.

It is as if your family, no matter how much you have grown and developed, can’t “let it go.” Family members and old friends, (but it seems that they are sometime a bit more progressive) are hell-bent on keeping you forever that little snot-nosed little kid that couldn’t do anything right.

Even Jesus said as much when it was discussed about when he went home when he was on his earthly mission. The townsfolk said, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Come on, nothing good has ever come from our town.” Which led to the saying that a prophet is neglected even in his own home town.

The point is, as was discussed in the last post about releasing, the forgiving of those parts of your past that have kept you tied in the past, might have been the easy part.

Even though the emotions of forgiveness are not always easy and must be dealt with, how can you truly know if you have been successful in completely forgiving?

That is the essence of step 2; Letting Go.

We began with the picture of a family reunion and most understand as they have been there. Families have a pecking order and no matter how much you achieve, you always will be that kid who did the thing that everyone talks about to keep you forever reminded where you came from.

To really move forward, to find that enlightenment that must become your Now Moment reality, you must Let Go. You must Forgive AND Forget; You must Let Go.

At the core, Releasing and Letting Go seem to be very similar in nature but they are a continuation upon one another. You can’t Let Go if you have not forgiven yourself, first, and then the person or situation second.

There is a great quote from Tina Turner where she says, “Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”

The process of Letting Go is really just that; purging of all that has held you back and at the core of that is, indeed, forgiveness of yourself and others.

This is the truth of allowing joy to come into your soul.

Accept responsibility for yourself and don’t be a victim to anyone's idea of you and who you should be based on a now-gone past that has no barring on this Now Moment. Yes, it existed but it was as is the wake of a boat, it merely shows you where you have been, it should never be an anchor to keep you there.
In the end, it as as the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu says, “He who knows himself is enlightened.”

You must Forgive and you must Let Go, for here is the beginning of all understanding. Then, as we will discuss in Part 3, Flow, will become your natural state of being

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com
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There is an interesting show on HBO, by the very name, Enlightened. In this show, a once high-powered executive, played brilliantly by Laura Dern, has a breakdown and is committed to a rehab clinic where she has an Enlightened moment of Supreme Consciousness.

Supreme Consciousness is as if, for a brief moment, (and that is what these moments are many times) a peace and serenity comes over your being. Your every waking moment from that point onward then becomes a re-creation of that moment in your expression of living.

Unfortunately, as Laura Dern’s character comes to find out, everyone is not on the same path as you, and it is unfathomable how anyone could not understand the journey as you are living it. I mean, it is very clear that enlightenment must be something that everyone desires, right? How is it that your new found place in the Universal Stream is not something desired by all?

This, then, becomes the disconnect. This, then, becomes the reason your ego steers you clear from “those” types, for it is not normal, this “enlightened” nonsense, and you certainly don’t ever want to be seen as “not normal”.

Right?

It has always fascinated me how the media paints "normalcy." But here is the thing...it is a moving target that changes by the shifting sands of time and societal nuances. The normal of today becomes the old-fashioned thinking of yesterday, and sometimes virtually overnight. If you want to see that really played out, look at computer magazines from merely five years ago. Heck, go back two years, that should do it. The computing world has changed so dramatically that simply having a cell phone two years old makes you outdated.

The same goes for normalcy as we define it. What does this have to do with enlightenment and the steps to begin the journey?

Everything, for you see this is a journey that leaves the boundaries of normalcy behind, for you are desiring a state of joy. Joy has no boundaries and is never out of fashion. Enlightenment is that journey that always begins within and creates change in a way that becomes your normal, without.

But many fear this journey because of the ego. In your attempts to reconcile even a fraction of enlightenment with your world, you must deal with the egoic world around you and that is the arena that the ego so delights in taking charge for it has had so much experience with it.

So there is this constant battle between the ego, future-based, whats-in it for-me thinking, and enlightenment, the serve-humanity-become-a-creature-of-love-in-all-circumstances thinking. This is definitely two words that cannot coexist in any way and to delude yourself into thinking that you can make them “play nice” together is a thinking that shall not bode well for you.

There is a fork in the road and no part of one can go with the other. Enlightenment and the ego are not partners, friends or symbiotic entities that could serve one another.

So the three steps, as alluded in the previous post, are a simple easy-to-remember trio of Release, Let Go and Flow, but living them is not so easy to do.

Step 1: Providing you have dealt with the ego, if nothing else but to acknowledge the fact that you have let it be the CEO for far too long, this is the easiest and yet, at the same time, the most difficult step. Again, the ego will really rear its ugly head here, but push onward. Release is really an act of forgiveness; of yourself, of the events, people, places and things that may have deposited you in this Now Moment.

There is no judgement here. It is as it is supposed to be and there is no desiring anything else to have happened. There are no “should of’s”, “if only’s” or “what if’s”. There is only Now and it is the moment that all is well.

Release and forgive all.

In the spiritual realm, forgiveness is the key for really moving forward. All spiritual doctrines have at their core the very concept of forgiveness. It is only when they attach some sort of gain or punishment that it becomes deluded and watered down as an ineffective vehicle for enlightenment.

But this is the step that begins the journey in earnest. This is the basis of the allowing the truth about yourself as a true child of the Universal Way. Once you have taken this step of forgiveness, true release can be the only truth that you know. It is as if you take from your eyes the “rose colored glasses” that people say when they (their ego) determines that you are living in some “la-la land” that is the journey of enlightenment. You now see in full color and the beauty of every Now Moment comes cascading to you.

For the clients i serve, i use the analogy of the hit program and movies, ‘The Highlander.”

In the series, there are those who are immortal, except for one small exception, other immortals can make them not-so-much by taking their head and gaining the one who lost their head their soul’s power. The liner from the show was, “There can be only one” meaning that only one Highlander was to remain at the end.

This is the process you must undergo in your path of forgiveness.

Metaphorically, you take take the “head” of all the situations in your life that have held you tied to the past or that has kept the present from advancing you into the glorious Now Moments that make up your future Now Moments. You take back the power you have allowed them to have.

Yes, part of the forgiving is that understanding that you cannot be a victim here. Yes, things may have happened that you did not desire, but you are not a victim, but one who overcomes; one who forgives and moves into the next step of Letting Go.

In the next post, we will see how the blending of these steps set you up to set your foot on the path of enlightenment, the Flow of it all.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Enlightenment - How Do You Begin The Journey

Enlightened souls are sometimes so out of step with the seeming existence of everyone else. One often wonders how they get along in this world. It is as if, then, enlightenment is reserved for a privileged few and, at best, the enlightened are a bit quirky.

However, it is this very quirkiness that draws us to enlightened souls, is it not? But upon closer observation, it is the world in which everyone desires to “fit in” by being as normal as possible is the one out of step. The enlightened actually live in a realm where their normal is that eternal state of joy that comes with the connection to Source, the very ebb and flow of the Universal Consciousness that we are all connected to.

Now, before you decide that enlightenment is just some head-in-the-clouds escapism, let me assure you it is anything but. You see, to truly exist in joy, you must be ready to rid yourself of certain assumptions that will forever bind you to the normalcy that exist in the commonality of a daily existence.

You must be willing to go deep within yourself in a way that completely rids yourself of the egoic-nature than binds you to a world that has kept you in a fog, of sorts.

One might say that enlightenment is a journey, first, and an awareness of the greatness of love from which all life derives. This is not a romantic love, of course, but a love for the humanity of the souls you travel with. Love is the vehicle and the place of joy that you see all who you come into contact with is your journey.

There is a release when you lose yourself but here is the journey most don’t seem to desire to allow themselves. There are so many, the ego with tell you, that will think this or that of you and you certainly don’t want to disappoint anyone. There are responsibilities that must take precedent to pie-in-the-sky thinking. There is life that must be dealt with and you certainly cant do that in this eternal state of bliss.

You see the disconnect here?

It is as if becoming an enlightened thinker, then, is solely the pleasure of academia, the artistic elite or one who would escape the masses by becoming a hermit on a mountaintop. Enlightenment is just not something “responsible” people do.

There is turmoil here between the egoic nature within and the eternal stream of consciousness. However, there can be only one. There must be a losing of ones self so as to live in another realm, the ones we were designed to be within from the beginning.

So, how do you begin your journey?

As stated before, the first step is to really look at the ego that drives you. How are you serving it, feeding it? (yes, you are serving it, not the other way around.) This is a real state of self-awareness here as you become honest with yourself.

Unfortunately, many have become so intertwined with their ego that to even think of losing it is almost sacrilegious. It has been heralded as that driving force for success, but really has nothing to do with passion at all.

So, number one is the release of the ego.

You must think of the ego as an employee of the company known as “You, Inc.” This company seeks to serve the common good, does it not? However, the ego has made itself CEO, President, Top Dog, or whatever title you relate to. Essentially, it has deemed itself in charge of you and you do whatever it says to make sure the company stays afloat, no matter what the cost to “You, Inc.”

Here is the thing...the ego is not in it for the long-haul and has no interest in the common good or eternity. The ego cares not about this Now Moment as it uses your past against you as a way to worry about your future. Good thing it is around, isn’t it?

Probably not.

So, you must take back your company. Relegate the ego to the mailroom of “You, Inc.” if you are unable to fire it completely. Maybe you just have to do it in stages.

This is the beginning and, beware here, your ego will tell you that it is needed as CEO, of course, and that you have too many counting on you to not for it not to be in charge.

Essentially, the ego is the Borg...

”Resistance is Futile!”

Release, Let Go and Flow, which we will cover in the next post, will get you to that place where you can truly begin the process of enlightenment.

This is the only place where joy lives.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Enlightened Souls And The Enlightened Journey

Enlightenment is one of those concepts that seems to be a place that many seem to venture carefully. I mean, what is it anyway? Always the image of Buddha comes to mind, meditation and other things “those” people do, but not “average” people, right?

I’ve used humor in my life as a way of shelter me from the storms of life and to get close to people so as to reach into their souls wherein lies enlightenment.

What do i mean?

Well, as an actor, i loved comical roles, for one, i seemed pretty good at them because of the very reason that depth of soul is more compelling in making comedy work that drama. When i started directing, It never failed that I would have a lot of people try our for comedic plays because people thought they were more attuned to doing comedic roles. I mean who doesn’t want to laugh, right, and who doesn’t want to make people laugh. It is a way to connect.

But you see, comedy, the best comedy, has a soul about it that really reaches to enlightenment. Think about your favorite comedians. The ones that really make you laugh are the ones that make you think as well. They are, in a sense, enlightened and yet, they understand that they must use comedy to portray that aspect of themselves that thinks on a deeper level, that part of them that really speaks to the human condition.

What, then, is enlightenment?

It is the state of being enlightened, essentially, the attainment of spiritual knowledge or insight. Here is where many fall down. The mere word “Spiritual” in our society elicits such strong emotions, but at the core of spiritual pursuits are seldom a religious dogma. Instead, it is the very act of seeing and desiring to become a vision larger than your ego desires you to be.

Enlightenment, then, is that perennial state of growth and expansion. You should be desiring this state as you journey from this Present Moment into the next.

There is an old sales expression that goes, “When you are green you are growing, when you are ripe you are rotten.” The way it was explained to me by a sales mentor i once had was that many sales people get to a point where they think they have seen every sales situation there is They seem to know everything about sales and people in general. “Usually,” he would tell me, “these people get to a point that they stagnate and become disillusioned with the joy of sales. They blame everyone who they come into contact with, but seldom look at the real reason in the mirror.”

What he was telling me was that they thought they had become enlightened when it came to their profession, but, in reality, they had stopped growing, learning, and appreciating the journey.
They had become “ripe.”

This is a journey you must take, however. Don’t become “ripe” in your situation. Don’t allow the ego to tell you that it has everything under control; that you should just continue on the way you have been, in the rut that seems well traveled, but safe.

Let us journey together as we go deeper into enlightenment and joy, for they are indeed synonymous. In this series of posts, we shall look at ways to become enlightened and live at an exceptional level for, therein, is where life begins and thrives.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Affliction of Worry From Others

Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a a future that does not exist into their very existence.

Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world.

It is even joked about as a redeeming trait in movies. But there lies the insidiousness of it, does it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives. It as if we are saying it is funny for everyone else, but, its OK for me. As if somehow that makes it a great way to carry on in our Now Moments.

Of course, that is the point. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow "out there" that must be going to happen, must be dealt with now.

I could go on for many Now Moments here, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back.

Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him. Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore.

So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he loved to do, he loved being active. I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine his course.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were simply projecting fear onto him because that is how they would have handled their fear, more than likely. It even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him he was not able to overcome a mere accident.

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

He did go up the ladder again!

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love and we couch it as “concern" (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship on our terms.
In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives.

Not that it is good or bad, here. It just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

It is the same when it comes to the influence others have on you if you base your life on what others think of your actions. To be quite honest, however, you might be shocked just how little others are thinking about you. I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts of their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and seems very non-egoic, but it is usually just the opposite. Usually the ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says,


“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey.

No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others in inflict their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business...ever!

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Life Begins When Worry No Longer Impacts Your Journey

In such a climate of fear that we have seemed to allow ourselves to arrive within in this Present Moment of living, one must wonder how it is that we have come to such a place. How is it that souls of love that we are all truly destined to become, allow this fear of living, fear of life to pervade our very existence.

The common thread, it is my belief, is worry.

Let me come at it in a different way than most would. Worry is that common emotion of the soul that has no place, ever, within us, yet we seem to excuse it in ourselves and find it repugnant in everyone else.
My, oh my, the ego is a powerful little beast, is it not?

How often do we tell someone else not to worry, when that is our inclination. It is almost as if we are expected to worry about life in so many ways and if we don’t we, of course, are “flighty” or “cold-hearted” or we are irresponsible in some way. Imagine that, the very act of NOT worrying and staying true to who you are makes you irresponsible.

Can you imagine if you decided to travel the world and, because you set out on a journey of self discovery, you are labeled as irresponsible. Isn’t that the height of responsibility; being labeled as such when truth is what you desire? Isn’t the very act of discovering yourself indicates that you are in search of becoming a better person of love to enrich the human condition?

If you find yourself living is such fear as to not make that journey, then merely look at the program, The Amazing Race, where teams travel around the world in a short amount of time. What most take from the race who participate is the journey within that transforms them and their relationships with not only one another, but with humanity.

By seeing other cultures and participating in tasks that many times test their assumptions about themselves, the individuals find that their fear of truly living was baseless. That their worry about life, in general, was nothing more than the ego’s attempt to “protect” them.
Protect them from what? Not sure, but the ego tells you countless things to worry about in life.

Really, however, the journey is from the allowing of love to enter them. Love of themselves, love of humanity, love of life and love of the journey within that makes the journey without all worthwhile.

Worry is so baseless that it cripples us from truly living life. The sad fact is that society breeds that fear from childhood on. Oh, I'm not saying that we aren’t aware of our surroundings but we don’t live in a constant state of “what if” this or that happens that we have to do this or that to cover the "what if" to begin with.

As i said in the last post, the ego can play out a scenario to its end based on a “what if” so compelling that you actually believe it to be. Sometimes even so much as to manifest the very worry the ego has so cleverly ‘what if’ed” so the ego can say to you, “See, i told you so.” Then once the ego has you there, you actually feel guilt about not worrying.

Do you see the insidiousness of worry?

There is another component of worry that really is at the core. The ego masks it as “making sure you are good with yourself.” It is the “What others think of me and my decisions” thought pattern as a guide for living truth in your life that is your journey alone. Yes, we impact others with our lives, that is the very nature of living. However, if you come from a place of truth, from a place of love, then you will not be a concerned how you impact others. There will be no worry about your actions or the actions of others.

The very thought that your belief that others thoughts the ones that you assign to them, about you, are somehow a determinant for living your life is bizarre.

However, It happens all the time.

Someone gives you a look and you assign that look a series of thoughts, usually based on experiences from the past of a similar look. So then you get angry, do something completely different or think a new series of thoughts all based on a look. The ego goes into full-protection mode to align you to the world as it sees it, which is not reality at all.

In the next post, we will delve into the very nature of the living in such a Now Moment state of love that there is nothing any one can say to take you away from your journey. It is a conscious decision, but a freeing one.

By the way, the thought you must take from the whole “What others think of me” situation is this:

It is none of your business what others think of you!

Just be true to yourself and come from a place of love in all you do and say.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

3 Steps to Abate Worry and Live Now

There is nothing that can invade the mindfulness of a true Present Moment thinker such as worry. It is that egoic nature that can take the tranquility of the present Now Moment and give the ego complete and total charge of all that surrounds your Mission. Worry is that ever-present reality, it seems, for most as they travel from Now Moment to Now Moment.

But why is that?

In a study i read recently, it was stated that a mere 8% of things people worried about actually manifested as reality. I would add that of that 8%, probably most things were so desired, so worried about, that they were going to happen no matter what. it is the Law of Attraction in action in a not-so-good use.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that we are so desperate to desire some unforeseen future that we will manifest it even to the detriment of our very existence. It tells us that the ego will go to extreme lengths to keep a hold on you, because worry is such as life itself. You forget about the actuality of that which might happen for the understanding that it might happen. Essentially, most are in such a common place of worry that when one thing happens that they have indeed worried about, it becomes 100%. It happened just as you thought it would and now the ego can use it to bolster its claim on you as the defender of your safety.

In the world of theatre, it is as i have seen. An actor has an overall great performance and one person out of a hundred tells them that they didn’t like their performance. One person! Guess what happens? That’s correct my young Jedi, they obsess about the one, not taking into context at all why that one person didn’t like it, as if it matters. But i have seen a single bad comment take an actor and make them doubt themselves because they worry about another comment to the point that their performance suffers. So the very thing they worry about does indeed manifest.

Worry, really then, is all about the ego. The funny thing is that we have all done it, have we not? Because worry brings forth doubt in ourselves and our situation, we then define ourselves by the very worry we are in any moment we decide to commit ourselves to it. Even more bizarre is our capacity to see others commit themselves to worry and tell them not to.

But since the ego is really at the heart of worry, how can we make sense of it all? Worry is a natural part of life, is it not? I mean, our very existence is given images of worry in every facet of living by our news media alone. The media feeds on worry and 90% of commercials are worry about some future event happening in your life if you don’t use their product. I have even seen a pill you can take in case you might have heartburn in the future. I am not kidding.

What is the number one cause of heart troubles in the USA alone? Stress. What is stress usually caused by? Worry about some future outcome.

I had a coaching client who recently came to a session in tears. Her daughter was in the midst of a divorce and she was “worried” about the grandchildren and the long-term affect on them. As i probed deeper, as that must always be done with worry, it came out that it her daughter’s divorce was somehow a reflection on her. Her parenting, her life in general. Her ego had so encased her in worry and how it was somehow an attack on her very core, that some perceived outcome with her grandchildren was now keeping her in a state of worry about some unknown future.

You see how clever worry is used by the ego? Ultimately, most worry is somehow an attack on YOU and must be dealt with. Just the absurdity of it all makes most laugh but it is an ever-present danger within us all if we are not vigilant in keeping worry at bay.

Living in the Present Moment is freedom from worry but takes a conscious effort to rid yourself of the egoic nature that inhabits the very core of worry.

3 Steps to Begin the Process of Ending Worry

First, when worry is presented as an option, take it to its end.

What do i mean by that?

Be an actor and write the script. Take the object of worry and make a play out of it, which is what worry is, by the way. The ego makes a whole play out that you actually believe it to be true. This time, however, you write it in your head with whatever far-fetched conclusion that could happen. Make a game of it. There is an old saying that you “illustrate absurdity by being absurd” and this is what is the intent. When you see the ridiculousness of all that must happen for the worry to become manifest, it really is quite amusing.

Second, decide that you are going to be ever-present in this Now Moment and that worry will not determine a future that does not exist. Just the very act of making a solid commitment will alert you when worry rears its ugly head.

Third, acknowledge the egos effort. Now, that might seem a bit strange, but if you treat the ego as it should be, as nothing more than someone from the mailroom, instead of the CEO of the company known as YOU, then you will go far in abating worry.

The ego will tell you all kinds of things to supposedly be in your best interest, but what the ego is trying to do is to be the one who makes all the decisions for you. The sad part is that most allow the ego to be in charge. Take back the night, here. The ego HATES Now Moment living and by keeping you in a constant state of worry about the future gives it full control. Be better than that. Be ever-present in the Now.

Worry is the beast that will rear its ugly head in your life and you must be aware, but it is a beast that can be eradicated for as Benjamin Disraeli was quoted as saying, “Worry (the ego) - a God, invisible but omnipotent. It steals the bloom from the cheek and lightness from the pulse; it takes away the appetite, and turns the hair gray.”

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Guilt: The Other White Meat - Part 1

Several years ago, the pork industry came up with “pork, the other white meat” to get people to eat more pork. The little slogan was quickly identifiable and indeed increased the pork industries efforts to get the folks to eat more pork.

I our discussion of Now Moments and how fear from and of the past can hold you back from progressing into brilliant Now Moments, I really look at guilt the true other white meat to fear, as they often go hand-in-hand. And unlike pork, it is the other side of the fear coin that can bring a grown man to his knees. I am not a huge fan of guilt, as you can tell.

Suffice it to say, we could not even begin to scratch the surface on guilt and how it hampers your development but we will begin to speak of the harmful effects it does have on you and how you can take steps to rid this arch-nemesis from your very midst.

First, lets look at guilt from a perspective of control, from both your own being and from others who use it to control you. There is no easy way to say it except that guilt is that soul-sucking essence that keeps people from developing personally, achieving in life, and from developing healthy relationships that are free from drama and, most importantly, love.

Guilt is not something you desire in any way, and if you use it to control others in your sphere, shame on you. It is done in business, in relationships and all realms of group interactions. The real essence of the spirit of guilt is that is so opposite from joy in that where there is guilt, you usually find joy lacking in abundance. That is the shame of guilt, it robs you of joy.

Look back in your own life; every time someone “guilted” you into doing something you were not prone to do, or would joyfully do on your own, did you notice joy within? I can safely say, no you did not. You see, guilt is that tool that people use that the ego rails against and why it is time to start the process of ridding yourself of that as well. But another discussion for another time.

You can even look to our political systems. When some well meaning congressperson or senator desires to push some usually bloated piece of legislation through the congress, they often encase it in the “hot” buttons of the day, whatever the other representatives would feel guilt not supporting; children, seniors, helping this group or that one. As soon as someone is confronted with the fact that they might not support a certain bill or whatever, they are guilted into support because who wants to be again some deserving group of whatever, whether the legislation makes sense or not.

It all comes down to joy and a sense of self that is devoid of ego.

Find your center, your joy and begin to ask yourself a simple question when confronted with guilt; Am what I am being asked to think about or do bring me joy if i do it for ME. Again, the very nature of that question elicits a guilt response from many because we are told by parents and authority figures “not to be selfish,” are we not? So we don’t ask that question because of guilt to begin with?

Stop it right now and begin to be a better you and decide here and now that guilt will no longer be part of your existence in this Now Moment. It is all you have. Seek joy and find truth.

In the next post we will look at ways to do this effectively, but start now as it is the only Now Moment you have in which to do so.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com