Enlightenment, The 3 Steps, Part II: The Letting Go

Have you ever heard anyone say, I forgive such and such but i will never forget it?

It is like going to a family function that most dread during any holiday season. You have grown and matured and maybe even have a larger view of the Universal Way than most in your family, and this is not an egoic statement, but a journey that you just understand that you have taken.

But you get home and all you hear from your family is how you failed at this as a kid or did this stupid thing or that stupid thing. You know, the natural process of growing up and learning what works and what doesn’t for yourself that we all go through, but somehow has not been branded on you as an anchor against moving forward.

It is as if your family, no matter how much you have grown and developed, can’t “let it go.” Family members and old friends, (but it seems that they are sometime a bit more progressive) are hell-bent on keeping you forever that little snot-nosed little kid that couldn’t do anything right.

Even Jesus said as much when it was discussed about when he went home when he was on his earthly mission. The townsfolk said, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Come on, nothing good has ever come from our town.” Which led to the saying that a prophet is neglected even in his own home town.

The point is, as was discussed in the last post about releasing, the forgiving of those parts of your past that have kept you tied in the past, might have been the easy part.

Even though the emotions of forgiveness are not always easy and must be dealt with, how can you truly know if you have been successful in completely forgiving?

That is the essence of step 2; Letting Go.

We began with the picture of a family reunion and most understand as they have been there. Families have a pecking order and no matter how much you achieve, you always will be that kid who did the thing that everyone talks about to keep you forever reminded where you came from.

To really move forward, to find that enlightenment that must become your Now Moment reality, you must Let Go. You must Forgive AND Forget; You must Let Go.

At the core, Releasing and Letting Go seem to be very similar in nature but they are a continuation upon one another. You can’t Let Go if you have not forgiven yourself, first, and then the person or situation second.

There is a great quote from Tina Turner where she says, “Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”

The process of Letting Go is really just that; purging of all that has held you back and at the core of that is, indeed, forgiveness of yourself and others.

This is the truth of allowing joy to come into your soul.

Accept responsibility for yourself and don’t be a victim to anyone's idea of you and who you should be based on a now-gone past that has no barring on this Now Moment. Yes, it existed but it was as is the wake of a boat, it merely shows you where you have been, it should never be an anchor to keep you there.
In the end, it as as the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu says, “He who knows himself is enlightened.”

You must Forgive and you must Let Go, for here is the beginning of all understanding. Then, as we will discuss in Part 3, Flow, will become your natural state of being

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com
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Enlightenment - How Do You Begin The Journey

Enlightened souls are sometimes so out of step with the seeming existence of everyone else. One often wonders how they get along in this world. It is as if, then, enlightenment is reserved for a privileged few and, at best, the enlightened are a bit quirky.

However, it is this very quirkiness that draws us to enlightened souls, is it not? But upon closer observation, it is the world in which everyone desires to “fit in” by being as normal as possible is the one out of step. The enlightened actually live in a realm where their normal is that eternal state of joy that comes with the connection to Source, the very ebb and flow of the Universal Consciousness that we are all connected to.

Now, before you decide that enlightenment is just some head-in-the-clouds escapism, let me assure you it is anything but. You see, to truly exist in joy, you must be ready to rid yourself of certain assumptions that will forever bind you to the normalcy that exist in the commonality of a daily existence.

You must be willing to go deep within yourself in a way that completely rids yourself of the egoic-nature than binds you to a world that has kept you in a fog, of sorts.

One might say that enlightenment is a journey, first, and an awareness of the greatness of love from which all life derives. This is not a romantic love, of course, but a love for the humanity of the souls you travel with. Love is the vehicle and the place of joy that you see all who you come into contact with is your journey.

There is a release when you lose yourself but here is the journey most don’t seem to desire to allow themselves. There are so many, the ego with tell you, that will think this or that of you and you certainly don’t want to disappoint anyone. There are responsibilities that must take precedent to pie-in-the-sky thinking. There is life that must be dealt with and you certainly cant do that in this eternal state of bliss.

You see the disconnect here?

It is as if becoming an enlightened thinker, then, is solely the pleasure of academia, the artistic elite or one who would escape the masses by becoming a hermit on a mountaintop. Enlightenment is just not something “responsible” people do.

There is turmoil here between the egoic nature within and the eternal stream of consciousness. However, there can be only one. There must be a losing of ones self so as to live in another realm, the ones we were designed to be within from the beginning.

So, how do you begin your journey?

As stated before, the first step is to really look at the ego that drives you. How are you serving it, feeding it? (yes, you are serving it, not the other way around.) This is a real state of self-awareness here as you become honest with yourself.

Unfortunately, many have become so intertwined with their ego that to even think of losing it is almost sacrilegious. It has been heralded as that driving force for success, but really has nothing to do with passion at all.

So, number one is the release of the ego.

You must think of the ego as an employee of the company known as “You, Inc.” This company seeks to serve the common good, does it not? However, the ego has made itself CEO, President, Top Dog, or whatever title you relate to. Essentially, it has deemed itself in charge of you and you do whatever it says to make sure the company stays afloat, no matter what the cost to “You, Inc.”

Here is the thing...the ego is not in it for the long-haul and has no interest in the common good or eternity. The ego cares not about this Now Moment as it uses your past against you as a way to worry about your future. Good thing it is around, isn’t it?

Probably not.

So, you must take back your company. Relegate the ego to the mailroom of “You, Inc.” if you are unable to fire it completely. Maybe you just have to do it in stages.

This is the beginning and, beware here, your ego will tell you that it is needed as CEO, of course, and that you have too many counting on you to not for it not to be in charge.

Essentially, the ego is the Borg...

”Resistance is Futile!”

Release, Let Go and Flow, which we will cover in the next post, will get you to that place where you can truly begin the process of enlightenment.

This is the only place where joy lives.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Affliction of Worry From Others

Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a a future that does not exist into their very existence.

Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world.

It is even joked about as a redeeming trait in movies. But there lies the insidiousness of it, does it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives. It as if we are saying it is funny for everyone else, but, its OK for me. As if somehow that makes it a great way to carry on in our Now Moments.

Of course, that is the point. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow "out there" that must be going to happen, must be dealt with now.

I could go on for many Now Moments here, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back.

Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him. Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore.

So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he loved to do, he loved being active. I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine his course.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were simply projecting fear onto him because that is how they would have handled their fear, more than likely. It even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him he was not able to overcome a mere accident.

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

He did go up the ladder again!

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love and we couch it as “concern" (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship on our terms.
In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives.

Not that it is good or bad, here. It just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

It is the same when it comes to the influence others have on you if you base your life on what others think of your actions. To be quite honest, however, you might be shocked just how little others are thinking about you. I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts of their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and seems very non-egoic, but it is usually just the opposite. Usually the ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says,


“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey.

No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others in inflict their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business...ever!

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Life Begins When Worry No Longer Impacts Your Journey

In such a climate of fear that we have seemed to allow ourselves to arrive within in this Present Moment of living, one must wonder how it is that we have come to such a place. How is it that souls of love that we are all truly destined to become, allow this fear of living, fear of life to pervade our very existence.

The common thread, it is my belief, is worry.

Let me come at it in a different way than most would. Worry is that common emotion of the soul that has no place, ever, within us, yet we seem to excuse it in ourselves and find it repugnant in everyone else.
My, oh my, the ego is a powerful little beast, is it not?

How often do we tell someone else not to worry, when that is our inclination. It is almost as if we are expected to worry about life in so many ways and if we don’t we, of course, are “flighty” or “cold-hearted” or we are irresponsible in some way. Imagine that, the very act of NOT worrying and staying true to who you are makes you irresponsible.

Can you imagine if you decided to travel the world and, because you set out on a journey of self discovery, you are labeled as irresponsible. Isn’t that the height of responsibility; being labeled as such when truth is what you desire? Isn’t the very act of discovering yourself indicates that you are in search of becoming a better person of love to enrich the human condition?

If you find yourself living is such fear as to not make that journey, then merely look at the program, The Amazing Race, where teams travel around the world in a short amount of time. What most take from the race who participate is the journey within that transforms them and their relationships with not only one another, but with humanity.

By seeing other cultures and participating in tasks that many times test their assumptions about themselves, the individuals find that their fear of truly living was baseless. That their worry about life, in general, was nothing more than the ego’s attempt to “protect” them.
Protect them from what? Not sure, but the ego tells you countless things to worry about in life.

Really, however, the journey is from the allowing of love to enter them. Love of themselves, love of humanity, love of life and love of the journey within that makes the journey without all worthwhile.

Worry is so baseless that it cripples us from truly living life. The sad fact is that society breeds that fear from childhood on. Oh, I'm not saying that we aren’t aware of our surroundings but we don’t live in a constant state of “what if” this or that happens that we have to do this or that to cover the "what if" to begin with.

As i said in the last post, the ego can play out a scenario to its end based on a “what if” so compelling that you actually believe it to be. Sometimes even so much as to manifest the very worry the ego has so cleverly ‘what if’ed” so the ego can say to you, “See, i told you so.” Then once the ego has you there, you actually feel guilt about not worrying.

Do you see the insidiousness of worry?

There is another component of worry that really is at the core. The ego masks it as “making sure you are good with yourself.” It is the “What others think of me and my decisions” thought pattern as a guide for living truth in your life that is your journey alone. Yes, we impact others with our lives, that is the very nature of living. However, if you come from a place of truth, from a place of love, then you will not be a concerned how you impact others. There will be no worry about your actions or the actions of others.

The very thought that your belief that others thoughts the ones that you assign to them, about you, are somehow a determinant for living your life is bizarre.

However, It happens all the time.

Someone gives you a look and you assign that look a series of thoughts, usually based on experiences from the past of a similar look. So then you get angry, do something completely different or think a new series of thoughts all based on a look. The ego goes into full-protection mode to align you to the world as it sees it, which is not reality at all.

In the next post, we will delve into the very nature of the living in such a Now Moment state of love that there is nothing any one can say to take you away from your journey. It is a conscious decision, but a freeing one.

By the way, the thought you must take from the whole “What others think of me” situation is this:

It is none of your business what others think of you!

Just be true to yourself and come from a place of love in all you do and say.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

Appreciation for the Mission in The Present Moment

Appreciation is the core value that manifest a Mission that truly reflects the very nature of the love of life. Appreciation is that beautiful nature that can’t be faked or manufactured, such as you see when Hollywood does with some Thanksgiving feast when a troubled family seemingly comes together and gives feigned appreciation.

For as far as i can remember, i was troubled at something at the way appreciation was portrayed along with the following season. Don’t get me wrong, it is grand to see people become Scrooges for if even for a brief season; the part where Scrooge is transformed, that is.

But only when i took my journey that has set me on my Mission to give people back themselves, did i really understand the depth of appreciation and what it actually does to the soul. It is my belief that at the heart of the very spiritual concept of faith is appreciation. It is appreciation that provides the prism for all of life. It is appreciation for life that we begin to see beyond ourselves.

It goes beyond the concepts of forced “thank yous” we all had to give when our aunt gave us the scarf we didn’t really like, or some other manifested reason appeared that we should be thankful for.

It is in the well-meaning actions of those who loved us that we were given such a skewed look at the very meaning of appreciation in our lives. So many times it comes off as a forced look at a guilt reaction of what someone has done for us. So the appreciation then becomes a bitter pill you swallow that has no meaning outside of the words you utter. Guilt becomes appreciation to the ego and resentment often nest deep within it.

I see it often times with the very act of gift giving where someone gives a gift, expects appreciation, which you have been taught to do, and then proceeds to tell you at some future time, that because they gave you a gift, that a certain action should now be manifest, be it love or some supposed show of love. The ego then drills down to the act of the forced appreciation that you did and begins to feed on the very act of appreciation as a ploy or ruse and bitterness begins to accumulate. Love and appreciation are often time so linked that one would believe that they must coexist together.

Yes and No. For you see, if you come from a place of love, appreciation is at the heart of everything you do, but appreciation must never demand love. Make sense?

This is one of the hardest values to really uncover, for most will tell you that appreciate this and that in their lives, but you can see that appreciation is not their core. To breech this with clients, i often get to the very act of gift giving and have found that most have had (or do) the “weapons of gifts”, as i like to call them, inflicted on them.

What i must first get most over is that a gift, defined in the dictionary as, “A thing given willingly to someone without payment.” is just that.

In the spiritual realm it is often why so many have a hard time with a gift of salvation, in that our ego knows that there are always strings attached, so there is nothing “freely given.” So getting people past that attitude and the very act of doing that to others as well, is the first hurdle. When you can get ego to release the assumptions of gifts, of giving and of the very nature of appreciation, then we can begin to give you back your life starting from that point.

Appreciation is the core value of the Mission for your life and for living from a place of love. Here is where we begin to master looking beyond yourself and seeing that life is indeed a Mission that you are involved in.
Let’s look at three ways to begin the process of Appreciation, but know that we have only touched the surface of having a true Attitude of Gratitude.

In my morning journal practice, i begin with “thank you thank you thank you” and i truly mean it. This is the act of preparation to receive from an attitude of being thankful for all within your life.

First, then, would be to prepare yourself by being thankful form the outset for EVERYTHING. Nothing must exist within your realm that is not appreciated.
In the movie, “A Wonderful Life”, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, has just discovered that he is back from being “non-existent” and is running down his little street of Bedford Falls. As he is doing so, appreciation for every aspect of his little town spews from his mouth. All of those places he took for granted, now had a new meaning and he appreciated everything for what it was to him. He now lived in an attitude of gratitude and in that light he saw his Mission for living and that he had been on a Mission without really understanding it.

Next, after you have truly given yourself over to appreciation of everything, there is an aspect of release that you must do. Forgiveness must now be your nature. First yourself, and, then, all other people, places and things that the ego has told you have wronged you in any way. This is a process, but one that must take place to move forward. Living free from here means you can now move beyond yourself to a Mission mindset.

Finally, in our simple three step appreciation appreciation manifestation, is to release worry, which is a task in and of itself that affects your Mission, the going beyond yourself to impact humanity.

In the next post we shall proceed form that point and deal with worry as it is a challenge that must have its own discussion.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

DA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching @ directyourownlife@gmail.com